But You Look So Good
Two psychologists, Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio, host a podcast that sheds light on the realities of living with chronic health conditions. Both hosts live with chronic conditions themselves and lead Livology, a private practice specializing in psychological support for those navigating chronic health challenges. The podcast features candid conversations and professional insights aimed at fostering community and connection among people with chronic health conditions.
Episodes
Create a flare plan
What do you do when you wake up and realise a flare might be starting? When you’re exhausted, overwhelmed or feeling unwell, it can be incredibly difficult to make thoughtful decisions about what you need—and what can wait.In this episode, we’re talking about creating a flare plan when you’re well enough to make those decisions clearly. We’ll explore how to recognise your early warning signs, who
Health Anxiety & Chronic Illness
When you live with a chronic health condition, paying attention to your body is important. But what happens when paying attention turns into constantly monitoring, checking, Googling and worrying? In this episode, Sally and Seona explore health anxiety and why it can be particularly complicated when you already have a genuine health condition. We talk about the difference between sensible health v
It feels like a part time job (that i never applied for)
Managing a chronic health condition can sometimes feel like a part-time job — and on bad days, a full-time one! There are appointments to organise, medications to remember, symptoms to monitor, paperwork to complete, decisions to make and endless energy calculations. And that’s before you’ve even started your actual job, looked after your family or tried to have a social life. In this episode, Seo
Social media: the good, the bad and the algorithm
When you live with chronic illness, social media can be a lifeline. Finding people who truly get it, discovering practical tips, feeling validated and connecting with a community can make an enormous difference. But there’s another side to the algorithm. Comparison, doomscrolling, symptom searching, scary stories and the pressure to be “doing illness right” can leave us feeling anxious, overwhelme
Weaponising Competence
What happens when being capable starts being used as evidence that you’re not struggling?In this episode, we’re talking about weaponising competence—what happens when your ability to work, parent, socialise, achieve, or simply get through the day is mistaken for proof that you’re doing fine. We explore the reality that you can be incredibly capable and completely overwhelmed; strong and exhausted;
MS and Type 1 Diabetes: Rachel’s Voice
Today you are hearing from Rachel. Rachel was diagnosed with type one diabetes at age 19 in 1998, and after six years of searching for answers, she received a multiple sclerosis diagnosis in 2015. She also lives with an undiagnosed muscle condition that has affected her daily life for over a decade. In this episode, Rachel shares her journey through diagnosis, the emotional toll of chronic illnes
Re-Release - Pets & Health: The Power of Companionship
Join us this week as we revisit a fun, heart-warming dive into the world of pets and the surprising ways they can boost our wellbeing - especially when living with a chronic health condition. From loyal dogs who get us out the door, to snuggly cats who know exactly when we need comfort, to fish, birds, and all the quirky critters in between, this episode explores why animals can make such a big di
Growing Up With Vision Loss: An Interview with Penny
Today you are hearing from Penny. Penny lives with retinitis pigmentosa, or RP, a genetic eye condition that causes progressive vision loss. She was diagnosed at 16 with the very same condition her mom has lived without-- with the very same condition her mom has lived with throughout her life. In this conversation, Penny takes us back to the moment she first realized something wasn't quite rig
How Do I Explain This Pain? When ‘0 to 10’ Just Isn’t Enough.
How do you explain pain when “it hurts” just doesn’t seem to cover it? In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most frustrating parts of living with chronic illness: trying to describe your pain to healthcare professionals. We unpack the difference between acute and chronic pain, why chronic pain can be so complex, and whether a 0–10 pain scale really tells the whole story. We also introdu
Finding My Way Back - Mel’s Voice
Today you are hearing from Mel. Mel lives with multiple sclerosis, and in this episode, she shares what the experience has looked like for her, particularly the first year after diagnosis, when so much about her life and her body suddenly felt uncertain. She talks about the fear and frustration that came with those early days, the changes that she had to adjust to, and the process of gradually fin
Are We Allowed to Have Fun When We’re Chronically Ill?
Can you be genuinely unwell and genuinely happy at the same time? Absolutely. But when you live with a chronic health condition, having fun can sometimes come with a surprising side order of guilt. Should you really be going out when you “should” be resting? Does a fantastic day somehow make your illness less real? And why can we feel like we need to look or behave sick to be believed?In this epis
Complex Regional Pain Syndrome - Sacha’s story
Today you are hearing from Sacha.In 2020, a workplace injury to her right hand and wrist set in motion a chain of events that would completely change her life.What initially seemed like it might be a simple fracture or sprain eventually led to a diagnosis of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, or CRPS — a condition associated with severe and persistent pain.Over the years that followed, Sacha's li
Re-Release - Slow It Down
This week, we revisit this episode of But You Look So Good where Sally and Seona dive into the necessity and benefits of embracing slow living. They share personal stories and reflections on how living intentionally can help navigate a fast-paced world, especially while managing a chronic condition. From setting boundaries and reducing stress to practicing gratitude and mindful habits, this episod
Twenty and Everything Changed: Chloe’s Story
Chloe was just twenty years old when almost overnight, the life she knew changed. She woke up one morning and the world was spinning. Her vision was blurred. Her body wasn't doing what she had asked it to. And suddenly, at an age when you're supposed to be figuring out who you are, Chloe was trying to figure out what was happening to her body. What followed were months of appointments, tes
Overwhelmed much?
It can feel like we're carrying far more than our own lives right now.There are wars unfolding across the world, political instability, economic uncertainty, the relentless cost of living, the rapid rise of AI changing the way we work and communicate, climate events, and a constant stream of breaking news designed to capture our attention.For people living with chronic illness, all of that lan
Having a child with a chronic health condition: An interview with Lainie
Today's guest is someone who knows firsthand what it means to support a child living with a chronic illness. Lainey is a mum of two daughters, and one of them, Samara, has faced more medical challenges in her almost 13 years than most people experience in a lifetime.Born prematurely at 33 weeks with a complex heart condition, Samara's journey has included serious complications, multiple ho
Pathologising Normal
Have you ever cried in a medical appointment and felt like your emotions became the diagnosis? Living with a chronic illness brings real loss, uncertainty, fear and grief—and those emotions are often a healthy response to a difficult reality. In this episode, we explore how both healthcare professionals and society can sometimes mistake normal human reactions for depression or anxiety, and why tha
Learning to Love Your Body Alongside Chronic Illness: An interview with Talia
Today, you'll be hearing from Tahlia, whose health journey began when she was just 19 years old, after being diagnosed with cervical dystonia—a neurological condition that causes involuntary neck movements and chronic pain. But, as is so often the case with chronic illness, that was only the beginning. Over the years, Tahlia was also diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, severe POTS,
All the Feelings.
Living with a chronic illness isn't just physically exhausting—it can be emotionally confusing too. People often ask, "How are you?" and we answer, "Fine," because finding the words for what's really happening can feel impossible.In this episode, we explore why emotions become so complicated after diagnosis and throughout life with chronic illness. We introduce the Feel
An Interview with Isabel: Living with Endometriosis
Today's guest is Isabel, a woman who spent four years fighting to be believed before finally getting a diagnosis that explained everything. Isabelle lives with pelvic and thoracic endometriosis, a condition that wasn't just affecting her periods, but her ability to breathe, to move, and to show up in her own life. Like so many women, she was told that she was anxious. She was even told th
What’s with the Weather?
Brrr, Melbourne! It is freezing down under, while our Northern Hemisphere friends are unseasonably melting. In this episode of But You Look So Good, we’re diving into the ways the weather crashes the chronic illness party. As two psychologists living with chronic illness, we know a shift in the forecast can mean a total shift in how we function.First, we tackle the cold front to unpack Seasonal Af
An Interview with Tessa: Living with Glossopharyngeal Neuralgia
What if the doctor tells you there's nothing wrong, but you know that there is? What if you spend two years being dismissed, misdiagnosed, and left without answers, all while living in some of the most excruciating pain imaginable? That's exactly what today's guest, Tessa, experienced when she was eventually diagnosed with glossopharyngeal neuralgia, a rare and devastating nerve condition sometim
Can we all Benefit From Creativity, Even if We Are No Good at It?
Living with a chronic illness can shrink your world. Medical appointments, symptoms, fatigue, and uncertainty can begin to define your days. But creativity offers something illness often takes away: choice, expression, purpose, and joy. In this episode, Sally and Seona explore their own creativity, as well as chat about the science behind art therapy and creative activities, why they improve menta
An Interview with Clara: Being a GP and a patient
Today we're speaking with Clara, a GP from Scotland who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2014, just months after the birth of her first child.As a doctor, Clara had spent years recognising symptoms in other people. But when those symptoms appeared in her own body, she found every reason to explain them away. In fact, she admits she almost felt like she was humouring her neurologist by
The Parent Guilt Trap
Does living with a chronic illness leave you feeling guilty about the kind of parent you are? Whether it's missing school events, cancelling family plans, needing extra rest, or feeling like your children are missing out, parental guilt can be overwhelming. In this episode, we explore why guilt is so common for parents living with chronic health conditions, the difference between guilt and sha
An Interview with Jacqueline & Alexa: Dating, Disability and Building Dateability
What happens when you realise the dating world simply wasn't designed with people like you in mind?After years of navigating chronic illness, more than 40 surgeries, and life with a feeding tube, Jacqueline found that one of her biggest challenges wasn't her health—it was dating. Not because of who she was, but because dating apps weren't built with disabled and chronically ill people
Managing Menopause with a Chronic Illness
Menopause can be challenging for anyone—but when you're already living with a chronic health condition, it can feel like a whole new layer of symptoms, uncertainty, and frustration. In this episode, we explore the complex relationship between menopause and chronic illness, including why it can be so difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins.We discuss the common overlap of symptoms
An Interview with Chris: MS, Sport and Rebuilding Identity
Today we're sitting down with Chris Henderson, a man who in 2017 went from playing football in regional Victoria to sitting in a hospital bed being told he had multiple sclerosis, and then being told he'd never play sport again. For someone whose identity was built around sport, that news was devastating. But Chris found his way back to sport and discovered a completely different version o
Understanding Your Nervous System: Flight, Fight, Freeze and Fawn
Living with a chronic health condition can feel like you're constantly fighting your own body. But what if many of the challenges you experience—fatigue, pain, brain fog, anxiety, overwhelm, poor sleep, and even burnout—are connected to the way your nervous system is responding to ongoing stress and illness?In this episode, Seona and Sally explore the nervous system in simple, practical terms
Anne’s Voice: The invisible work of Type 1 Diabetes
Welcome to Anne's Story.Today, you'll be hearing Anne Freeman's voice and story.Anne was 21 years old when she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. What followed was not only the challenge of learning to manage a lifelong condition, but also the emotional and psychological impact of adapting to a future she had never imagined for herself.In this Voices story, Anne reflects on the realit
Toxic People and Protecting Your Wellbeing
Living with a chronic health condition means your energy is precious. So what happens when the people around you leave you feeling drained, criticised, guilty, or emotionally exhausted? In this episode, psychologists Dr Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio explore the impact of toxic relationships on our mental and physical health. From friends and family members to health professionals, they discuss how t
An Interview with Lucy: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
Meet Lucy, a research psychologist from the UK living with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS), chronic migraine, and persistent pain that went undiagnosed for more than two decades.From painful periods and joint pain to migraines, digestive issues, and fatigue, Lucy spent years collecting diagnoses without anyone connecting the dots. Receiving an EDS diagnosis finally brought answers—but also a profound
"Less Than"
One of the most painful experiences many people living with chronic illness, disability, mental health challenges, neurodivergence, grief, or major life setbacks experience is the feeling of being somehow "less than."Less successful.Less productive.Less capable.Less independent.Less worthy.In this episode, we unpack where this feeling comes from, why it is so common, and how much of it i
An interview with Becky: MS, Single & Social Media
Today on But You Look So Good, we're sitting down with Becky, a woman who has spent her entire adult life single, and along the way, received a life-changing diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. While Becky has a close and supportive network of family and friends, living with a chronic health condition has meant facing many of life's biggest challenges independently. From managing symptoms an
Putting the Chronic in Chronic Illness: How to cope with knowing it will never get better
In our 100th episode of But You Look So Good, we reflect on the journey of creating this podcast as two psychologists living with MS — what we’ve learned, what has surprised us, and the incredible community that has formed around honest conversations about chronic illness.We then dive into one of the hardest realities many people face: the difference between acute illness and chronic illness. Soci
An Interview with Robyn: Turning Crohn’s Disease Into Comedy
Today's guest is Robyn, an award-winning comedian and writer who lives with Crohn's disease, a condition that affects millions of people worldwide, yet remains so often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and for many, carries a huge amount of shame. Because let's be honest, we're talking about symptoms that people often feel embarrassed to speak about, let alone joke about on stage. But
Dynamic disability: when capacity constantly changes
Some days you can function. Some days you can’t. Some days you make plans, show up, laugh, work, parent, and feel almost like yourself. Other days, getting out of bed feels impossible.For many people living with chronic illness or disability, symptoms aren’t static. Capacity can shift hour to hour, day to day, week to week. Pain, fatigue, mobility, cognition, vision, strength, dizziness, function.
An Interview with Fiona: Transplant Recipient, Triathlons, Tenacity
Today you are hearing from Fiona, a woman from Ireland whose life has been shaped by an extraordinary journey through chronic illness, resilience, and reinvention. Fiona was diagnosed with a kidney disease while pregnant in 2009, a diagnosis that came completely out of nowhere. For the next seven years, she managed a progressive debilitating condition while raising three young children, navigatin
“Stop Using Your Condition as an Excuse” (and Other Helpful Judgements)
What happens when the hardest part of living with a chronic illness isn’t just the symptoms — but the judgement?In this episode of But You Look So Good, Sally and Seona unpack the comments so many people with chronic health conditions hear: “It’s all in your head,” “Maybe if you exercised more,” “You’re a hypochondriac,” and “Stop using your condition as an excuse.”They explore the psychological i
An Interview with Chris: From Nurse to Crime Writer After a 19-Year Diagnosis Journey
Our guest today is Chris, a former nurse of thirty-one years and now an award-winning crime writer who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis after what he describes as a torturous nineteen-year journey to answers. In this conversation, Chris takes us back to those first strange symptoms, the years of pushing through, continuing to work in healthcare, and the frustration of navigating a medical sys
Anxiety and Chronic Illness
Anxiety can feel very different when you live with a chronic illness. When your body has become unpredictable, your nervous system can begin to stay on high alert — scanning for symptoms, preparing for worst-case scenarios, and struggling to fully relax.In this episode, we explore the relationship between chronic illness and anxiety through a psychological lens. We discuss hypervigilance, uncertai
Interview with Amy: Being a Doctor, MS, Long Covid and Job Loss
What does it take to keep going when your body, your career, and your identity all shift at once? In today's episode, we sit down with Amy, a doctor from the UK who has lived that very question. Her story begins in 2011 weeks before her wedding when she woke up, unable to feel half her body as a doctor. She suspected multiple sclerosis. Getting anyone to take her seriously was another story. We f
Fatigue and how to explain it
Fatigue is one of the most common—and misunderstood—parts of living with a chronic illness. In this episode, we unpack what fatigue really is (hint: it’s not just being tired), why it happens, and why it can feel so unpredictable and overwhelming. Drawing on both our clinical work and lived experience, we explore the physical, cognitive, and emotional layers of fatigue—and the science behind it.We
An Interview with Devon - Early Onset Parkinson's
What does it feel like to be 35 years old, living abroad, building a career you love, and then having a doctor tell you in five minutes that you have Parkinson's disease? Today's guest, Devon, was doing exactly that, working in refugee protection across the globe when a small tremor in her right hand at a late night dinner in Greece changed everything. In this conversation, Devin opens up about w
Disability Tax and the Inconvenience of Chronic Illness
Ever feel like you’re doing the same things as everyone else… but it somehow costs you more? Welcome to the disability tax. In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack the invisible price of living with a chronic health condition — and spoiler: it’s not just about money.We’re talking energy, time, mental load, emotions, identity, and yes, the literal financial hit too. From the effort it takes just to
This Isn't Fair
There’s a thought that shows up at some point for most people living with a chronic illness: “This isn’t fair.”In this episode, we explore where that thought comes from, why it’s so common — especially early on — and why it can continue to resurface over time. We unpack the idea of fairness itself, the emotional weight behind comparison and lost expectations, and how this thought shows up across i
Should I Have Kids?
Deciding whether to have kids is a big question — and when you’re living with a chronic health condition, it can feel even more complex. In this episode of But You Look So Good, psychologists Sally and Seona explore the emotional, practical, and deeply personal layers of this decision. From navigating “what ifs” and uncertainty, to managing other people’s opinions and your own self-doubt, they unp
Being “Othered” - On the Outside Looking In
In this episode, we talk about the experience of being “othered” — what it is, why it hurts so much, and why so many people with chronic health conditions experience it. We explore the psychological impact of feeling different, the shame that often comes with it, and how to build a life where different does not mean alone.We also talk about the identity shift that often comes with chronic illness,
Unicorn Standards — The Pressure to Be Everything, Even When You’re Struggling
The pressure to hold it all together, keep achieving, and be “fine” - even when your body is anything but.In this episode, we explore the idea of “unicorn standards” - the often invisible, unrelenting expectations we place on ourselves to do more, be more, and cope better than is realistically possible.When you’re living with a chronic health condition, these standards can become even harsher… lea
Cancer can be a chronic health condition - An interview with Sarah
Today we’re speaking with Sarah, a 45-year-old woman from Perth who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023 after a routine mammogram. While Sarah is now cancer-free after a year of intensive treatment, her story highlights a reality that often goes unspoken: being cancer-free doesn’t always mean being free of cancer.In this conversation, Sarah talks about the experience of living in the space be
Loneliness and Isolation living with a chronic health condition
Loneliness and isolation are experiences many people describe when living with a chronic health condition. Sometimes it’s the reality of relationships changing or people drifting away. Other times, it’s a quieter loneliness - the feeling of being surrounded by people who care, yet still feeling alone in an experience that others may not fully understand. In this episode, we explore what loneliness
An Interview with Sophie - Navigating Hearing Loss and a Changed World
In this episode we speak with Sophie, who shares her story of navigating multiple health diagnoses from her teenage years and the profound life changes that followed, including losing her hearing in her 20s.Sophie reflects on how these experiences reshaped the way she communicates, connects with others, and understands herself. We talk about identity, relationships, loneliness, and the unexpected
To Those Who Love Us - What it’s really like to love someone whose life, body, or identity has changed
What it’s really like to love someone whose life, body, or identity has changedThis episode is for the people who stay - partners, friends, parents, siblings - who are trying to love someone whose life has changed, and quietly wonder if they’re getting it right.We talk about what it actually feels like on both sides of change: the grief that sits heavily, the awkwardness that can creep into conver
Multitasking Is a Myth: Why Our Brains Struggle (and How to Take the Pressure Off)
We live in a world that glorifies multitasking - answering emails while listening to a podcast, cooking dinner while helping with homework, scrolling while “relaxing.” But what if multitasking isn’t a superpower at all? In this episode, we explore the psychology and neuroscience behind why our brains struggle to do multiple cognitively demanding tasks at once. We unpack the concept of “switch cost
Finding Flow when your body has other plans
What does “flow” mean when your body has other plans?We hear athletes at the Winter Olympics talk about being “in the zone” - moments where time disappears, movement feels effortless, and everything just clicks. But for people living with chronic health conditions, those versions of flow can feel distant, lost, or even painful to hear about.In this episode of But You Look So Good, Sally and Seona
When Friendships Change After Diagnosis
Who stays, who fades, and how to grieve that (and come out the other side).Friendships can be for a reason, a season or for a lifetime. Living with a chronic health condition can make navigating friendships seem more difficult sometimes.Chronic illness doesn’t just change bodies - it changes relationships. In this episode, we explore what happens to friendships after diagnosis: why some deepen, w
Blue & Green Spaces: Why Nature Is Powerful for Our Health
We often talk about diet, movement and medication when it comes to health - but what about where we spend our time?In this episode, we explore blue spaces (oceans, rivers, lakes) and green spaces (parks, forests, gardens) and why time in nature isn’t just “nice” - it’s genuinely good for our physical and mental wellbeing.With a particular focus on people living with chronic health conditions, we u
People-Pleasing & The Invisible Toll on Your Health
In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona unpack why so many people with chronic health conditions fall into people-pleasing, over-functioning, or peacekeeping roles — and the huge emotional and physical cost that comes with it.We explore where these patterns come from (spoiler: childhood roles, culture, trauma, gender expectations, and fear of conflict), why they often intensify after a chro
Fork That! Let's talk diet with Marnie Nitschke - Re-Release
In this re-released episode, Sally and Seona sit down with dietitian Marnie Nitschke to dig into the tricky relationship people with chronic health conditions often have with food. Marnie shares her expertise on balanced eating, myth-busting around specific diets, and why “one-size-fits-all” nutrition rarely works. They explore popular diets like anti-inflammatory and Mediterranean, discussing the
Getting the Most Out of Your GP with Dr. Melanie Tait - Re-Release
Re-release of this insightful and entertaining episode of But You Look So Good, Seona and Sally sit down with GP Melanie Tait, who brings a unique perspective as both a doctor and someone living with a chronic health condition. They dive into the often misunderstood dynamics of the GP-patient relationship, sharing tips on how to make the most of your GP visits, what to expect (and not expect) from
Introverts, Extroverts & Your Social Battery - Why It Matters When You Live With a Chronic Illness
In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack what introversion and extroversion really mean — and why understanding your social energy becomes even more important when you’re living with a chronic health condition.They explore how chronic illness can change your social battery, why socialising may feel more draining or complicated than it used to, and how this isn’t a personal failing but a nervous sys
Looking Back with Kindness, Moving Forward with Intention
As 2025 comes to a close, Sally and Seona invite you to pause, breathe, and reflect — gently. In this episode, they look back on the year that was and talk about why reflection can be especially meaningful (and complicated) for people living with chronic health conditions. Together, they explore how to acknowledge challenges, honour invisible effort, and make sense of change without slipping into
Coping with Christmas - Re-Release
In this re-released episode (recorded Christmas 2024), Seona and Sally delve into the whirlpool of the festive season, sharing personal anecdotes and exploring strategies to help you manage the stress and chaos of Christmas. From dealing with grief during the holidays to navigating the pressure of social expectations, they offer practical tips and psychological insights. Tune in for a candid discu
Pets & Health: The Power of Companionship
Join psychologists Sally and Seona for a fun, heart-warming dive into the world of pets and the surprising ways they can boost our wellbeing - especially when living with a chronic health condition. From loyal dogs who get us out the door, to snuggly cats who know exactly when we need comfort, to fish, birds, and all the quirky critters in between, this episode explores why animals can make such a
Who's Going to Date You Now? - Re-Release
Re-Release: In this episode titled “Who’s going to date you now?," hosts Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio tackle the complexities of dating with a chronic health condition. They delve into the unique challenges of disclosing your condition to potential partners and how this crucial conversation can often serve as a useful screener for compatibility or to filter out unsuitable matches. Sally and Se
Can We Talk? Effective Communication for Real Life
Communication feels like it should come naturally — we speak every day, after all — but real, effective communication isn’t instinctive. It’s a learned skill, not a personality trait. And if you’ve ever thought, “I’m just not good at communicating,” here’s the good news: you absolutely can learn it, strengthen it, and make it work for you.In this episode, we unpack why communicating can feel so mu
Running on Spoons
Ever wondered why people with chronic illness talk so much about spoons?In today’s episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into Spoon Theory - the cutlery-based metaphor that attempts to explain what it’s like to navigate life with limited energy. They unpack the origin story of the theory, created in 2003 by writer Christine Miserandino, who used a handful of spoons in a restaurant to explain
The Pity Model: When Good Intentions Miss the Mark
We often hear about the medical and social models of disability — but there’s another one quietly shaping attitudes toward people with chronic illness and disability: the pity model, sometimes called the charity model.This model positions people as tragic or brave simply for existing, creating distance rather than connection. It can show up in fundraising drives, well-meaning comments, or systems
What an Ego!
In this episode, we’re talking about ego - not in the “you’ve got a big ego” kind of way, but in the psychological sense: the part of us that helps shape our identity, our sense of control, and how we relate to the world.For people living with chronic health conditions, understanding ego is powerful. Because illness challenges everything the ego likes: control, competence, independence, achievemen
Creating Habits: Reducing the Need for Will Power!
Join psychologists Sally and Seona as they unpack the art of habit creation when you’re living with a chronic health condition. We’re not talking about running marathons or green juice cleanses - we mean small, doable habits that actually make life easier. From moving your body (even a little), eating well without guilt, managing appointments and meds without losing your mind, to nurturing your re
Green-Flag Relationships: How to Spot the Good Ones
Ever found yourself wondering if that friend who says, “You don’t look sick!” is waving a tiny red flag? In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into the world of green-flag relationships - the people who make you feel safe, seen, and slightly more human on the rough days. We unpack what red and green flags really mean, why supportive connections are good for both your mood and your im
Wee Confessions: the Continence Conversation with KJ
Let’s talk wee and poo (yes, really). In this episode, psychologists Sally and Seona are joined by MS, Immunotherapy, and Continence Support Nurse KJ Lazarus from the Austin Hospital in Melbourne for an honest—and surprisingly funny—chat about one of the least talked-about sides of many chronic health conditions: continence. From unexpected leaks to constipation woes, KJ brings warmth, humour, and
F#@k This!
Have you noticed how many people wear T-shirts, tote bags, or pins that say “F#@k MS,” “F#@k Cancer,” “F#@k Fibromyalgia,” “F#@k Pain,” or “F#@k This Fatigue”?There’s a reason those slogans resonate so deeply — they capture something that most people living with chronic health conditions rarely get to express openly: anger.That gut-level, exhausted, fed-up, “I can’t do this anymore” kind of anger.
Rewriting the Rules - Living beyond Society’s Shoulds
We all grow up absorbing society’s “shoulds”—what success looks like, how much we’re meant to achieve, and even how our bodies should function. But what happens when life doesn’t fit those rules? For many people living with chronic illness, these expectations become not only unrealistic, but harmful.In this episode, we explore the hidden weight of societal expectations and why unlearning them is e
I Get Tired Too - Re-Release
This week, we revisit this episode of But You Look So Good where we explored the complexities of relatability when living with a chronic health condition. While well-meaning friends and family often try to connect, their efforts can sometimes feel dismissive or invalidating—especially when it comes to fatigue. Through personal stories, roleplays, and relatable scenarios, they unpack the stark diff
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
Ever caught yourself procrastinating, avoiding, or making choices that don’t serve you — even when you know better? That’s self-sabotage, and it’s far more common than we think. In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack why we get in our own way, what the research says about it, and how chronic health challenges can add extra layers of complexity. Together, they explore practical strategies to recog
What if I’ve Made the Wrong Decision?
Sally and Seona explore the tricky (and sometimes tormenting) world of decision-making — especially when living with chronic health challenges. From decision fatigue to the regret spiral, they unpack why choices can feel so loaded and share practical ways to take the pressure down a notch. Think: treating decisions as data gathering, leaning into values, and sprinkling in some much-needed self-com
Preparing for Medical Appointments
Ever left a medical appointment and thought, “Wait… what just happened?” You’re not alone. Research shows we forget up to 80% of what doctors tell us (so it’s not just the brain fog talking). In this episode, we’re diving into the art of preparing for medical appointments when you live with a chronic health condition.From writing down your three most important questions, to remembering that yes, y
Resilience: Not about Bouncing Back!
We hear the word resilience everywhere—but what does it really mean? In this episode, Sally and Seona unpack the myths around resilience and explore how we can actively build it in everyday life, especially when things don’t go to plan.Resilience isn’t about being tough all the time, ignoring pain, or forcing positivity. Instead, it’s about flexibility, connection, and the “ordinary magic” of smal
Optimistic Realism - Let’s Go!
Living with a chronic health condition means facing a whole mix of emotions - from hope and positivity to worry and “what ifs.” In this episode of But You Look So Good, psychologists Sally and Seona dive into optimism, pessimism, and the middle ground we like to call optimistic realism. We explore what the research says about how mindset shapes our health, why a little pessimism isn’t always a bad
