Why Do I Feel This Way?
Kate DeAraugo, the 2005 Australian Idol winner, shares how her life spiralled after early fame and led to drug and weapons-related convictions in 2017. Now sober, married and a new mother, she uses the podcast to reflect openly on those difficult experiences. The show aims to offer hope and a safe space for listeners to acknowledge their own hardships. It is a personal, conversational series about recovery, honesty and moving forward.
Episodes
The Addiction Underneath the Addiction: Food Noise, Shame and Weight-Loss Medication
<p><strong>This episode contains lived-experience discussion of eating disorders and purging, urges to relapse, body shame, weight loss and prescription weight-management medication, methamphetamine and other drug dependence, compulsive behaviours, and mental-health recovery, and includes strong language.</strong></p><p>Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy are back, just the
I Loved My Baby. I Still Wasn't Okay | Tara Hall
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of traumatic birth, postnatal depression and anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, addiction and recovery, and restrictive eating, and includes strong language.Kate's friend Tara Hall joins Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy for an honest conversation about the gap between the motherhood she saw on TikTok and the one she actually lived.Tara ta
Young Divas, Australian Idol, leaving Christianity and finding herself | Emily Williams
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of childhood abuse, family violence, young motherhood, addiction and religious trauma, and includes strong language and sexual references.Australian Idol and Young Divas star Emily Williams joins Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy for a reunion more than 20 years in the making. There's plenty to revisit from the Idol years and Young Divas, but Emily's s
What an Intervention Really Looks Like | Belinda Walsh
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of addiction, alcohol and other drug use, childhood sexual abuse, family relationships, treatment and recovery.Season Partner: Aurora Healthcare Belinda Walsh returns to Why Do I Feel This Way? with Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy to unpack what an intervention actually looks like — and why helping someone with addiction often starts with the people
Anxious, Avoidant and the Chemistry Trap | Louisa Josem
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of relationship conflict, infidelity, substance use and emotionally unsafe or abusive relationships.Relationship coach Louisa Josem joins Kate and Claudia to unpack attachment styles, why we repeat the same relationship patterns, and why something that feels like intense chemistry isn’t always the same thing as safety.Louisa breaks down anxious, av
What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? | Rod Coy
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of grief, regret, ageing, addiction recovery and mental health.Rod Coy joins Kate and Claudia to tell the story of the bike trip he never forgot. At 23, Rod set off to cycle across Europe, only to abandon the journey in Italy after falling in love. Fifty years later, at 73, he went back to finish it.What starts as an adventure story becomes somethi
Breaking the Cycle | Karise Eden Part 2
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of childhood trauma, out-of-home care, homelessness and housing instability, domestic abuse and mental health struggles.In Part 2, Karise Eden picks up her story at the point where everything changed — winning the first season of The Voice Australia in 2012.Karise takes Kate and Claudia through what happened immediately after the win: contracts, ma
The Life Before The Voice | Karise Eden Part 1
CONTENT NOTE: This episode contains lived-experience discussion of childhood abuse and neglect, foster care, homelessness, addiction, violence and mental health struggles.Before Australia knew Karise Eden through The Voice, her life looked very different.Karise joins Kate and Claudia to talk about the years before the show — her childhood, entering the foster-care and refuge system, periods of hom
Bogan Gate, Anxiety, Kyle & Jackie O… and an Escape Goat? | Mitchell Coombs
This episode contains lived-experience discussion of anxiety, depression, prescribed medication, alcohol use, bullying, body image and mental health struggles.Mitchell Coombs joins Kate and Claudia for a very funny, very honest chat about anxiety, burnout, being chronically online and somehow making a career out of being perceived when, as a kid, he wanted the exact opposite.Mitch takes us from gr
We Weren’t Okay: Addiction, Bulimia and Coming Back
Kate and Claudia are back for Season 5, starting with an honest catch-up about where life has really taken them.Kate opens up about recognising that her mental health had slipped, coming close to relapse, and making the decision to ask for help and return to rehab — despite still being clean and sober. She reflects on grief, motherhood, recovery, and what it looks like to ask for support before th
Alternative methods to healing
How would you manage your recovery? Today's guest has turned a lifetime of battles into purpose by helping others..... but with her own twist and an open mind. So sit back and relax and remember - this is not medical or psychological advice, this information is for entertainment purposes only.If you, or someone you know is struggling, please call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
The Sweetest Couple
Addiction doesn't just effect the individual, it's something that impacts many people, on many levels. In this chat, we talk to the sweetest, most delightful couple who's story started with addiction, but has blossomed into a lifetime of faith, purpose, love and helping others.If you, or anyone that you know is struggling, please call Lifeline now on 13 11 14
The connection between sex & mental health
Have you ever had problems discussing the things you want... in the bedroom? Mental health and sex, are two topics we've never talked about on the pod. You talk about these sorts of things with your friends, but sometimes you just don't talk about sex with the person you're sharing your bed with.So join us as we get between the sheets and talk sex with a professional.
Let's Get Candid
We took a big break. Turns out we both needed it. In this episode we detail what we've been up to over the last few months and why we needed some space.If you, or anyone you know is struggling, call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
Born Into Addiction with Hope Richards
With a mother supplying drugs, multiple home invasions and a police raid, Hope was surrounded by addiction and abuse throughout her entire childhood - but she refuses to let that define who she is today.This is a story of recovery, resilience and breaking generational addiction.If you, or anyone that you know is struggling, please call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.Hope Richards TikTok: @hoperichards94
Ben Besant & The Lindt Cafe Siege Pt2
Ben Besant was the tactical officer who shot and killed terrorist Man Monis in the 2014 Lindt Cafe siege. However for a decade he was only publicly referred to as "Officer A" due to a suppression order from the government.In part 2 of our chat with Ben, he details the moments he shared with Katrina Dawson as she passed in the Lindt Cafe. He also unpacks the painful mental journey that fo
Ben Besant & The Lindt Cafe Siege
Ben Besant was the tactical officer who shot and killed terrorist Man Monis in the 2014 Lindt Cafe siege. However for a decade he was only publicly referred to as “Officer A” due to a suppression order from the government. Now that order has been lifted and Ben is finally able tell his own story and reclaim his identity.In this episode, Ben recounts his memories of the Lindt Café Siege and the lon
Why trolls aren't always trolls
This our monthly catch up episode where we are brutally honest with each other and our healing.In this ep we talk about Kate's viral video on TikTok and the confronting comments she recieved because of it.Claudia unpacks her 'bratty' week and what led her to bunker down for 48 hours.Trigger warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you, or anyone that
The Reality of Living With HIV
In this episode we're joined by one of our incredible listeners, Rhys.Eight years ago Rhys was diagnosed with HIV and has been navigating the realities of the disease ever since. In this chat we unpack the stigmas around HIV, the steps to be taken after diagnosis and what it means to be HIV positive in everyday life.National Association of People With HIV Australia: https://napwha.org.au/Trigger W
AFL legend Gavin Crosisca on playing while high
Today we're joined by AFL legend Gavin Crosisca, who's recently admitted to playing while high for most of his footy career. Today, Gavin is 14 years clean, Director of Sober Living Rehab and back (where it all began) at Collingwood where he's spearheading the Past Players Association. Sober Living Rehab: https://soberlivingrehab.com.au/Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of
Boys To The Bush
This week we're chatting to Adam DeMamiel, Co-Founder and CEO of Boys To The Bush.Boys to the Bush started when three school teachers noticed common issues in young men with similar backgrounds - disconnected, vulnerable and often from a home without the presence of good male role models. Boys To The Bush was created with the aim to change the course of these young mens lives.Boys To The Bush:
Dating after a long-term relationship
Claudia has officially entered the dating jungle... and what a wild place it is out there.In this episode we catch up on the last 4 weeks, including dates, babies and therapy!Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and domestic violence. If you, or anyone that you know is stuggling, please call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
I quit, but I'm not an addict
In this weeks ep we breakdown the difference between identifying as an addict and acknowledging behaviour that no longer serves you.We're joined by media powerhouse Sangeeta Kocharekar who, after causing a scene at her friends wedding, decided to quit alcohol for good. And while she has no plans to drink anytime soon, Sangeeta doesn't identify as an addict, rather someone who likes herself
Living With An Invisible Illness
This week we're joined by Lili Higgins.On the outside Lil looks like she has everything - successful career, an incredible family, a beautiful smile and a strong social media following... but no one sees Lili's daily struggle. This isn't a story of tragedy, rather a story of maintaining hope and positivity through adversity.In this episode we break down what life looks like for someone
Grief, Let's Talk About It
This week we reflect on grief.The grief that comes when you lose a loved one, grief of a life you envisioned for yourself that never came to fruition and grief of a relationship that came to an end.What does grief look like for you? What are some tools that can help? And what does life look like on the other side?Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addicition, grief and eating disorde
Intervention Specialist, Belinda Walsh
Today we're joined by Intervention Specialist and Founder of Sober Living Rehab, Belinda Walsh.With almost 4o years of experience, Belinda unpacks the power of intervention, including best practices as well as the biggest mistakes people make when planning an intervention.Belinda Walsh: belinda@soberlivingrehab.com.auSober Living Website: https://soberlivingrehab.com.au/Trigger Warning: This e
Late Diagnosis with Keeshia Pettit
Keeisha Pettit is the Executive Producer of some of Australia’s biggest podcast such as Life Uncut, Two Doting Dads and Not An Overnight Success. She’s also recently stepped out and started her own podcast, Cloud, where she unpacks all things ADHD and late age diagnosis.eurodiversity
"I can do hard things"
From livin' la vida loca to facing our fears head on - this month's catch up is a wild one.Also, we want to hear from you! If you've intentionally faced your fears and lived to tell the tale, send us a DM and let us know about it - we promise to keep you anonymous.Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you, or anyone that you know is struggl
Lockie Welch
You'll know him as the positive man who spreads love and joy on Instagram and TikTok, but Lockie Welch is so much more than his beautiful reels.In this episode we shine a light on mens mental health and the ways in which we can address, support and love those struggling.Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addicition and suicide. If you, or anyone that you know is struggling, pleas
Kate's Big Decision
In this episode Kate details a big decision she's made around breastfeeding and what's led her to this outcome.We also unpack the MAFs incident that unfolded last week and the way it was handled within the bounds of reality tv.Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of eating disorders and domestic violence. If you, or anything that you know is struggling, please call Lifeline now on
Havening with Elle McBride
Four years ago Justin Bieber made headlines when he was filmed 'havening' himself on the set of his music video for Yummy. It got the world talking - what is havening? does it actually work? and how do you know you're doing it right?Today on the pod we're joined by Psychosensory Therapist Elle McBride who breaks it all down for us. Not only that, Elle provides a step-by-step guide
The Nude Nutritionist
Today we're joined by the one and only Nude Nutritionist, Lyndi Cohen.Lyndi is an Aussie dietitian, author and podcaster who specialises in helping people stop emotional and binge eating. In this chat we unpack what it means to practice 'intuitive eating', how to identify when you're using food to self soothe and the ways in which Lyndi was able to overcome her own disordered eatin
"My therapist is proud of me"
Kate's had a baby and Claudia's therapist is proud of her - there's a lot to unpack here.Strap in as we give you an update on the last 4 weeks and the massive life changes that have happened in a very small amount of time.Tigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you, or anyone that you know is struggling, please call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
Healing From Toxic Relationships
Today we're joined by Life Coach and host of the Unfiltered Experience podcast , Louisa Josem.
Having survived toxic relationships in the past, Louisa has made it her life goal to educate herself and others on the warning signs, the dangers and the ways out of an abusive environment.
Trigger warning: This episode contains themes of domestic violence. If you, or anyone that you know is strugg
How Danni Carr Quit Alcohol
Danni Carr is a podcaster, sober coach, meditation breath work teacher and author (amongst other things).
In this episode we discuss Danni's journey to quitting alcohol, how her relationship with the rock'n'roll muso scene changed and how to know if it's the right path for you.
Trigger warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you, or anyone that you know is strug
We Have A Lot To Catch Up On
We both had very eventful (and VERY different) Chrissie / NYE breaks.
In this ep we unpack navigating family dynamics during the busy period, being an extroverted introvert and where we're both at in therapy.
We also chat about the future of the pod and some exciting guests we have lined up!
Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you, or anyone that you
The year that was
In this episode we take a look back at the year that was.
Both finishing 2024 very differently to how we started it, we reflect on the trials, tribulations and joys of the last 12 months.
And the exciting things to come…
Diane Young (Psychotherapist)
Today we’re joined by psychotherapist Diane Young. Specialising in trauma and addiction, Diane has seen and worked through it all.
In this episode we chat about the many roads to recovery, how to find the right therapy for you and when you know its time to ask for help.
Trigger warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and sexual abuse. If you, or anyone you know is struggling, please c
Heartled Warriors with Dane Muller
Today we're joined by the Founder & Director of Heartled Warriors - Dane Muller.
Having battled his own fight with mental health, Dane now leads men, women, couples and youths through retreats with the focus on 'returning home to yourself'.
Dane's story is powerful and one that we couldn't wait to share with you.
Instagram: @heartled_warriors
Website: https://www.heartledwarriors.com.au/
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Spiritual Warfare with Nikki Dellar
From New Age rituals to psych wards to 'demonic attacks' to church on Sundays... fair to say Nikki has lived 1,000 lives in her short 33 years on Earth.
In today's chat Nikki unpacks the path that led to her hospitalisation and how she radically turned her life around at the age of 30.
Trigger warning: This episode contains themes of suicide and self-harm. If you, or anyone that you know is strugg
Sex Talk with AJ Paps
Today we're joined by sex shop owner, entrepreneur and TikTok sensation AJ Papas.
AJ is known for his non-nonsense, tough-love relationship and sex advice and he treats this episode no different. From re-creating old school romance to spicing things up in the bedroom, this conversation has it all.
TikTok: @ajpapadatos
Jonathon 'JMo' Moran
Jonathon Moran has been synonymous with Aussie media for over 25 years. If you've ever read the paper, listened to radio or been to really any event in Sydney - you would have heard about JMo.
In this episode, JMo gives us a peak behind the glitz and glamour of being an entertainment reporter, and just how deceiving 'keeping up appearances' can be.
WIRES: 1300 094 737 or www.wires.org.au
Trigger
The Governor
Today we're joined by former Operations Manager of Corrections Victoria, Roz aka The Governor. Having worked with both men's and women's prisons for 27 years, Roz has seen and heard it all.
In this episode we talk about justice verse rehabilitation, the human side of being part of 'the force' and what it meant to be the first female Governor.
Nick Bowditch
Today we're joined by Nick Bowditch - author, psychotherapist, motivational speaker, TedX presenter, entrepreneur, podcast host and PhD student (clinical psychology).
.... he also happens to be in recovery.
Nick unpacks his journey through meeting Kate in rehab back in 2016 to speaking to crowds of thousands while experiencing intense social anxiety and now to running his own clinic.
Instagram: @
Sex Addiction
Today we're joined by Kate's friend Travis. From a wealthy family, raised in an affluent area, Travis seemingly 'had it all' growing up.
For 28 years, Travis lived a heteronormative life and found himself unable to remain monogamous for any long period of time.
Cut to a rehab in Thailand - Travis realised what he'd been running from and was diagnosed with 'sex addiction'.
In this episode, Travis
October Catch Up
We have some updates.
One of us is heading into her third trimester, the other finally got her mental health plan. Join us as we unpack what's been going on in our worlds this month.
Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you or anyone that you know is struggling, call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
Steph Easton
Today we're joined by founder of Your Recovery House, Steph Easton.
Having her own experience with disordered eating and addiction, Steph created the holistic rehab to treat the 'root cause of behavioural issues' and help people who have walked a similar path.
In this episode, Steph gives a very raw and honest insight into how addiction ruled her life for many years and most importantly - how she
Paul Field
Paul Field is Australian music royalty - known as one of the founding members of the Cockroaches and The Field Brothers, not to mention the Managing Director of the Wiggles for over 20 years.
Over 35 years ago, when Paul was making it big in the Aussie music scene, he was faced with the unimaginable pain of losing his baby girl, Bernadette.
In this episode Paul talks through navigating grief, fin
Jaz Flowers
In today's episode we're joined by TikTok sensation Jaz Flowers (364k+ followers & over 12.6 million likes).
From the outside it looks like Jaz has everything - the media career, the supportive husband and thousands of online fans who were glued to her every move. But when Jaz went through childbirth, everything changed.
Jaz speaks candidly about her experience being pregnant, her tra
Osher Gunsberg
Known for hosting Australian Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor In Paradise and The Masked Singer, Osher has well and truly established himself as Aussie TV royalty.
Originally known as 'Andrew G', he changed his name to Osher - Hebrew for 'happiness' - at the age of 38. Today, we find out the 'why' and how this change has affected his life, relationships and ca
Dr Cara Crossan
Today we're joined by Dr Cara Crossan - Clinical Psychotherapist and Specialist in Addiction. With over 13 years experience working with individuals and families affected by addictions, Cara will unpack what it means to be an addict and how to make sure you get the right help.
She also happens to be one of the therapist that helped Kate during her recovery.
Trigger Warning: This episode contai
Let's Catch Up
It's been almost a year since Season 1 and a lot has changed in both our worlds. So we're kicking Season 2 off with a bit of a catch up! Thanks for joining us, we're really glad you're here.
Trigger Warning: This podcast contains themes of addiction and eating disorders. If you or anyone you know needs help, call Lifeline now on 13 11 14.
The Loved Ones
We've heard Kate's story from Kate herself, but addiction often effects more than just the addict.
In this episode, we talk to Alex & Eliza - Kate's younger siblings. We unpack everything from the moment they knew Kate was in trouble, to witnessing their parents heartbreak & how they all began to rebuild once she was sober.
The Rebuild
From the depths of addiction to a happy home with a beautiful baby boy, Kate details the steps she took in order to create a life that she loves.
Rehab
Kate steps into rehab (again) but this time it sticks. In this episode, Kate describes the moment she knew this rehab experience would be different & how she began to rebuild her life.
ALCOHOL & DRUG INFORMATION SERVICE: 1800 250 015
THE NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT, FAMILY & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUNSELLING LINE: 1800 737 732
LIFELINE: 13 11 14
After The Show
In this episode Kate reveals the depths of her addiction... and nothing is off limits. We learn what her ‘rock bottom’ was, the effects of being in a toxic relationship & the lengths her family went to try and save her.
Mentions:
Family Drug Support Australia - 1300 368 186
Australian Idol
In this episode we talk about Kate’s experience with Australian Idol, THAT comment made by Kyle Sandilands & what happened once the cameras stopped rolling.
The Very Beginning
In order to understand Kate’s full story, we need to take it back to the very beginning. In this episode we talk about Kate’s upbringing, her school life & the start of her journey with Australian Idol.
The Trailer
TW: Themes of addiction and domestic violence.
6 years ago, I'd been charged with possession of ice & weapons, I had a busted face from an abusive relationship, I'd lost absolutely everything & destroyed the hearts of everyone I loved. Let me tell you how I got there, but more importantly let me tell you how I got out.
This is a story of addiction, recovery & so much more. I&#
