Turns Out I'm Into It!
Turns Out I'm Into It is a podcast about kink, desire and sex positivity hosted by somatic sexologist Harley Rabbit. Each episode explores the psychology behind BDSM, power dynamics and fetish play, from abduction fantasies and shibari to age play and non-monogamy. Harley shares candid personal stories and interviews kink experts from around the world. The show is aimed at curious newcomers and experienced kinksters alike, framing exploration as a route to self-discovery, intimacy and healing.
Episodes
#122: Men, What’s Your Specialty in the Bedroom?
Men are often taught that being good in bed means being ready for sex, knowing how to perform, and making sure their partner is satisfied. But how often are men actually encouraged to think about what they want? In this episode, I’m exploring the different flavours of male desire, why your pleasure matters too, and how knowing what genuinely turns you on can help you get out of your head and have
#121: Hot Doctor, Big Dick… Why Was I Still Bored?
I’m back! After a couple of months away from the podcast, I’m finally behind the mic again.In this episode, I’m sharing where I’ve been, what I’ve been working on, and the story of why, even when I was dating a hot, well-hung doctor, I almost gave up on sex entirely...We talk about why “doing sex right” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having sex that actually works for you, the shame I used to car
#120: Degradation vs Humiliation — What’s the Difference? 🪱
What’s the difference between degradation and humiliation? While these kinks often get grouped together, they actually tap into very different emotional experiences.In this episode, Harley Rabbit explores:the difference between degradation and humiliation playwhy these dynamics can feel so intensely erotichow old emotional experiences can sometimes shape our fantasieswhy consensual kink can feel h
#119: New Erototypes for Taboo, Sensation & Transformation
Welcome friends! This one's for the sex nerds. 🤓In this episode I'm nerding out on sexology and taking you behind the scenes on the Erototypes framework I've been developing. If you're curious about the thinking behind the system, what's changed, and why, you're going to enjoy this one. Thanks to the incredible feedback from this community, version two is here, and it
#118: Where Fetishes Come From – And Why I'm Now Into PJ's
This week I'm diving into the fascinating world of fetishes: what they are, how they differ from core desires, and why some very specific things can become incredibly erotic.I share a very personal (and very cosy) story about my partner Slade's pyjama fetish, explore the psychology behind how fetishes form during our formative years, and reflect on my own unexpected turn-ons — including
#117: Kink Isn't Just About Pain (The 4 Types of Turn On)
Kink has a bit of a PR problem. Most people assume it’s all pain, whips and chains… but that’s actually a tiny slice of what’s possible. In this episode, I’m breaking down the 4 core ways desire shows up: Primal, Nurture, Obedience and Shadow. These aren’t rigid roles to fit into, but different flavours of turn-on that can help you start to recognise what actually feels good for you.As you listen,
#116: Introducing Erototypes: A Playful Way to Understand What Turns You On
Alright friends, it’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally ready to share something I’ve been quietly building behind the scenes. 🥁🥁🥁In this episode, I’m introducing Erototypes — a playful way to understand your desires. Instead of trying to fit yourself into a kink role or be a “good” sub or dom, we’re turning that question on its head and looking at desire from the inside out — exploring how
#115: What Actually Makes Kinky Relationships Feel Secure
Kink can ask a lot from a relationship. When we’re exploring things that feel vulnerable, taboo, or a little scary, the sense of safety between partners becomes really important. In this episode, I’m talking about one of the foundations of strong kinky relationships: secure attachment — and why feeling emotionally secure makes it much easier to explore desire, power, and fantasy together.The surpr
#114: Wearable Claws: The Primal Toy You Didn't Know You Needed – with J from Claws & Clamps
Claws are much more than a costume piece. They can completely change how your hands feel in play — and how you feel wearing them.In this episode, I’m joined by J from Claws & Clamps to talk about wearable claws for sensation play. We explore how they’re designed, the difference between sharp and scratchy (yes, that’s a real thing), how to choose the right material and fit, and how to actually
#113: I’m Pretty Sure the World Is Secretly Kinky
Kink is supposed to be this underground, secret-club thing…Except it’s actually everywhere.In this episode, I’m diving into the surprisingly kinky places I’ve spotted power dynamics hiding in plain sight — from Phantom of the Opera to Beauty and the Beast, from Harley and Joker to Game of Thrones. Looking back, I can see how certain characters and storylines hooked me long before I had language fo
#112: Using Kink to Stay in My Body When I’m Not Okay
This episode is a little more vulnerable than usual, but so many of us are impacted by our mental health. So this week I’m sharing how kink is helping me stay grounded when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I talk about what it’s like when your mind starts spiralling, and how sensation, containment, and surrender can sometimes do what other tools can’t.Gentle reminder: we do touch on mental health, so
#111: Let’s Talk Wax, Impact, and Sensation Play — with El from Collared Foxy
In this episode, I’m joined by El from Collared Foxy for a deep dive into the world of sensation play. We talk through wax play and impact play in a way that’s practical, creative, and genuinely accessible — whether you’re already experimenting or just starting to get curious. El brings such a rare mix of lived experience, craftsmanship, and clear language to this conversation, and honestly, I cou
#110: Why I Started Feeling Weird About Being Sexual Online
I’ve always proudly held the value that there is no shame in being a sexual being. I’ve lived that belief — posting spicy photos on FetLife, and speaking openly about kink without apology. But recently, after spending more time on social media, and having to censor myself, I've noticed that certainty start to wobble. This episode is a reflection on what happens when the pressure creeps in. Wh
#109: How to Make Kink Fit Into Your Busy Life
For a long time, I thought kink was all about big, flashy peak experiences — elaborate scenes, intense role play, and wild adventures that take a lot of time and energy. And while those moments can be amazing, most of us don’t live our lives there.In this episode, I talk about what kink looks like when life is real. Busy weeks, tired nights, limited capacity. I explore how focusing only on big sce
#108: Christmas Special – A Very Adult Christmas 🎅✨
Merry Christmas, my lovelies, and welcome to my very first Christmas special!This episode is a little gift from me to you: a cosy, cheeky Christmas story with a very Harley Rabbit twist. I wrote it because I know the holidays can be magical… but they can also be overwhelming, lonely, or complicated. Especially for so many in this community who are queer, kinky, poly, or neurospicy.So think of this
#107: Why High-Achieving Women Crave Surrender – with Julieta Chiara
If you’ve ever wondered why so many smart, capable, high-performing women melt into a puddle the moment someone takes control… this episode is going to hit home.Today I’m joined by the incredible Julieta Chiara for a conversation that goes straight to the heart of why ambitious, high-functioning women crave the chance to finally let go.We unpack the deep psychological reasons so many of us who “ru
#106: Twelve Naughty Ideas for a Very Kinky Christmas
It’s officially December, which means two things:Christmas chaos is upon us, andI am absolutely going to find ways to make it kinky.In this week’s episode, I’m sharing 12 fun, creative, and very naughty ways to sprinkle a little extra spice into your holiday season. Some are playful, some are sensual, some are downright filthy — and most of them work just as well if you’re partnered or solo, and s
#105: Tentacle Erotica — The Art, the History, and My First Toy Review 🐙
Hey friends, Harley here!This week we’re diving into one of the most misunderstood and surprisingly historic corners of fetish culture: tentacle erotica. From centuries-old Japanese artwork to modern fantasy toys, this genre has far more depth and erotic imagination than most people realise.In this episode, I explore:The surprising origins of tentacle erotica in Japanese shunga artHow censorship l
#104: Inside the World of Nothosaur Toys - with Kingsley
Hey friends, it's Harley here.In this episode, I chat with Kingsley from Nothosaur, the fantasy toy company turning imagination into art. From dragons and wolves to tentacles and alien lovers, Nothosaur creates beautifully crafted silicone toys inspired by fantasy creatures — each with its own character, backstory, and personality.Kingsley shares how the brand started in a tiny Hong Kong stud
#103: Evolution of a Shibari Master — with Kazami Sensei
In this episode, I speak with Kazami Sensei, one of Japan’s most respected figures in shibari and the founder of Kazami-ryu. Over a career spanning more than thirty years, he has performed and taught extensively throughout Japan and internationally, with certified schools now operating in Australia, Canada, and Hong Kong.In our conversation, Kazami Sensei reflects on his early years of self-teachi
#102: Three Ingredients for a Seriously Hot S&M Scene
Why does pain sometimes feel so damn good? And what actually makes a scene hot instead of just… well, hurt?In this episode, I’m diving deep into the delicious world of sadism and masochism — and the three ingredients that make it work: power, attention, and surrender.I just got back from Brisbane, where I got to do another rope scene with Deadmaxis (and yes, I asked him to show me a bit more of hi
#101: Rope School! What We Learned from a Level 1 Shibari Intensive – with Slade
This week I’m joined once again by my partner, rigger, and Dom — Slade — as we unpack our recent experience completing Kazami-Ryu Level 1, a three-day Shibari intensive right here in Townsville.Together we share what it was really like to dive into formal rope training — the challenges, the breakthroughs, and the lessons learned from both sides of the rope.We explore:Slade's lessons in persis
#100: Episode 100! Let's Celebrate Together 🎉
We did it! Turns Out I’m Into It has officially hit 100 episodes. This week isn’t just about celebrating the podcast milestone, it’s about celebrating you and everything you’ve achieved in your kinky journey so far. From building the courage to reach out to new partners, to finding your voice around desires and boundaries, to embracing your kinks without shame—these are massive wins, and today we’
#99: Roleplay Lite - An Easy Guide for the Roleplay-Curious
When most people hear roleplay, they instantly cringe. They think of awkward classroom exercises, bad accents, or being forced to improvise lines in front of other people. No wonder it feels intimidating in the bedroom!But roleplay doesn’t have to be awkward or over the top. In this episode, I share how to make roleplay simple, sexy, and fun—without needing costumes, scripts, or a Broadway-level p
#98: Why do we Celebrate Risk Everywhere Except in Sex?
In last week’s episode, I talked about the “kink police” — the people who project their authority onto others and try to dictate how kink “should” be done. This week, I want to explore a different kind of projection: when people put their fears onto your choices.Agency in kink is usually talked about in terms of safety — boundaries, consent, protecting ourselves. And that’s vital. But agency is mo
#97: Who Are the Kink Police and How Do You Avoid Them?
Ever met someone in the kink scene who acts like they invented BDSM? Yeah… those are the kink police. 🙄 In this episode, I’m breaking down elitism, rope snobbery, and why anyone telling you there’s a “right” way to do kink is full of it.We’ll talk about:Why your kinky journey is 100% your ownThe difference between confidence and egoHow to spot predators who isolate newbies (major red flag alert!)A
#96: What Music Taught Me About Sex (Plus a Special Request!)
This week, I’m taking you behind the scenes of my journey — from being a guitar-obsessed, heavy metal teenager to chasing a music career, and eventually finding my way into sexology. On paper, those two worlds couldn’t be more different… but in this episode, I share why they’re deeply connected for me.I talk about the moments that made music feel like my safe place, the way eroticism reaches the s
#95: Floggers 101: Design, Technique, and Play with Chainwire
Ever wondered what makes a great flogger—and how to actually use one?In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by local kink maker Chainwire, the man behind Hurty World’s handcrafted floggers, to explore the artistry, technique, and sensation behind one of kink’s most versatile toys.We dive into:The craftsmanship of floggers—from leather selection to balance and weightWhat to look for w
#94: Seduced by Fear: Cruciator on the Dark Side of Desire
Welcome to Turns Out I’m Into It. In this unforgettable episode, I’m joined by special guest Cruciator to explore one of the kink world’s most taboo topics: fear play.Cruciator has been active in the BDSM community since 1992 and is the owner of Fetlife’s Fear Play group. With decades of experience conducting high-intensity scenes—including multi-day abductions—he brings a grounded, thoughtful app
#93: Harley Gets Schooled in Dirty Talk - A Masterclass with Sam Charles
In this extra juicy episode, I am joined by sex and intimacy coach Sam Charles for a very hands-on dirty talk masterclass. What starts as a playful lesson turns into a real-life demonstration of navigating boundaries, expressing desire, and negotiating a spicy scene in real time.I open up about my own edges when it comes to using words during sex, and Sam creates a beautifully safe space to explor
#92: My Brisbane Trip – Navigating Nerves, New Experiences, and My Favourite Rope Scene Yet
In this episode, I’m sharing some honest reflections from my recent trip to Brisbane—where I pushed through some big travel anxiety to have one of my favourite rope scenes yet.I open up about what it’s like to manage anxiety while trying to do the things you really want to do, and how I’m learning to meet that part of myself with more compassion. I also talk about the rope scene I did with Deadmax
#91: The Single Most Important Skill in Kink (That You Can Learn Right Now)
What if I told you there was one skill that could make you more attractive as a play partner, safer to play with, and help you create hotter, more connected scenes?In this solo episode, I dive into what I believe is the most important skill in kink: attunement.We explore:🔹 What attunement is 🔹 How to attune to yourself and how to attune to others 🔹 Why attunement is crucial for both Doms and subs
#90: Behind the Mask – A Deep Dive into Pony Play with Rapidash
I’ll be honest, I used to think pony play sounded… a little silly. But after discovering Rapidash’s stunning photos and hearing the depth of feeling behind his scenes, I realised there was a whole lot more to this kink I didn’t understand. It's actually incredible! In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by a very special guest: Desmond—also known in the kink world as Rapidash. D
#89: Kink in a Small Town, and Finding my Brave
In this solo episode, I share a very personal update from my kinky life. I’m four years into a deeply loving dynamic with my Dom, and while I feel supported and safe, I’ve also been feeling stuck. Living in a regional town means fewer opportunities to explore kink in the ways I crave—and that’s pushed me to make some scary (but exciting) decisions about what comes next.You’ll hear about:The beauti
#88: I’m a Grown Man. And I Wear Nappies - Inside ABDL with DaddaG
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined once again by the incredible DaddaG—event organiser behind KangaCon and long-time member of the ABDL community. With over 20 years of experience as both a diaper lover and caregiver, DaddaG brings a deep, compassionate perspective to the world of age play.We explore:🔹 Different age play roles – AB, DL, Daddy, and switching 🔹 Consent, boundaries,
#87: The Love Language of Rope — with Deadmaxis and Aura Grey
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by Deadmaxis and Aura Grey—partners in life, kink, and the art of rope. Known for their stunning suspension performances at events like Hardbeat Byron and Berlin’s Dark Circus, this couple brings over a decade of love and a deep connection to their rope journey.We explore:🔹 How they went from a vanilla marriage to exploring kink together 🔹 The e
#86: How Old Do You Feel in the Bedroom?
What happens when your birthday brings up more than cake and candles?In this raw and personal episode, Harley opens up about what it’s like to navigate aging as a sexual woman in a culture obsessed with youth. From noticing lines in the mirror to feeling like time is running out for certain fantasies, this episode is a vulnerable look at the internal stories we carry—and how kink can help us rewri
#85: I’m Not Ashamed to Love Masculine Men
In this episode, I explore the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity—and why I’m tired of pretending that being attracted to masculine men is something to be ashamed of.Inspired by a scene in Beastars (an anime on Netflix), I unpack what it means to celebrate masculine power without excusing harm. We talk about violence, tenderness, emotional maturity, and why the sexiest men are of
#84: What Turns You On—and What Turns You Off! Understanding Your Sexual Brakes and Accelerators
Do you ever feel like your body just isn’t showing up for sex—even when your mind is totally on board? Maybe you want to feel turned on, but nothing’s happening down there. Or maybe you feel ashamed, confused, or frustrated when your desire doesn’t match what your partner (or you!) expect.In this episode, Harley Rabbit introduces the dual control model, a powerful framework from the world of sexol
#83: What If You Could Be Anyone? The Magic of Kink Personas
Ever felt too self-conscious to fully enjoy sex? Maybe you struggle to switch off from life stress, or you find yourself stuck in your head during intimate moments.In this episode, Harley Rabbit shares a powerful technique for breaking free from insecurity and fully immersing yourself in pleasure—by stepping into a kink persona.A kink persona isn’t just roleplay—it’s a way to tap into different as
#82: Sub or Bottom? Exploring the Many Flavours of Submission
When you first explore submission, it’s easy to get caught up in labels and stereotypes—but what if those don’t quite fit? Do you have to love obedience, service, or degradation to be a sub? Or maybe you’re drawn to pain or bondage, but don’t feel like surrendering control?In this episode, Harley Rabbit helps you untangle your submissive identity, exploring the many ways submission can look. Wheth
#81: Am I Kinky Enough? Breaking Free from Stereotypes
Have you ever wondered if you're kinky enough to belong in the kink community? Maybe you feel like you don’t fit the stereotypical Dominant/submissive (D/s) mold or that your desires aren’t “intense” enough to count. In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the many ways people explore kink—whether through full-time dynamics, occasional play, private fantasies, or even solo experiences.Kink
#80: Rope Mastery & Mind Games: A Shibari Masterclass – with Miss Gen
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by the incredible Miss Gen—Shibari educator, performer, and rope sadist. As head of Evil Girls HQ in Brisbane and a Shihan (Master Instructor) in Kazami Ryu Shibari, she has 25+ years of experience training with top rope masters and performing in Japan. We explore:🔹 Miss Gen’s journey into rope – From self-tying as a child to discovering her dom
#79: How to Play with Gender in BDSM
Most people don’t realise just how much gender shapes the way we play in BDSM. Whether we’re leaning into traditional roles—like masculine dominance and feminine submission—or subverting them entirely, gender dynamics influence kink in ways we often don’t even notice.In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, we dive into:🔹 How gender roles show up in BDSM🔹 Masculine dominance vs. feminine submissi
#78: Religious Shame, BDSM, and the Psychology of Power – With Shelby Devlin
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, I’m joined by the incredible Shelby Devlin, a sex and intimacy coach with nearly a decade of experience specializing in BDSM and kink. With a master's degree in sexuality studies and a role as an advanced instructor at the Somatica Institute, Shelby brings a wealth of knowledge to our conversation.We dive into two powerful topics:🔹 Religious shame &am
#77: How to Tell Your Partner What You're Really Into... (Even If It Feels Super Scary)
Sharing your sexual fantasies with a partner can feel incredibly vulnerable... maybe even terrifying! In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives deep into why it’s so hard to open up about our desires and offers practical, no-pressure strategies to help you navigate these conversations with confidence and curiosity. Whether you're hoping to act on your fantasies or simply share them for deeper inti
#76: Are my Sexual Fantasies Normal? Here's What Science Says
Episode Summary:In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, Harley Rabbit dives deep into the fascinating world of sexual fantasies, exploring why so many of us feel shame about them and how science challenges the idea of “normal” fantasies. Harley breaks down a landmark study, “What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?”, which surveyed over 1,500 people to determine which fantasies are rare, unusu
#75: Santa's Little Helpers: Naughty Sex Toy Secrets Revealed - with Wendy Setless
It’s time to add a little extra joy to your holiday season! In this special Christmas episode, I’m joined by the fabulous Wendy Setless, a Somatica-trained sexual health, pleasure, and relationship coach, and the resident sexologist at her local adult store.Wendy brings her infectious enthusiasm and deep knowledge to help us navigate the world of adult toys—from vibrators and strokers to kegel bal
#74: My Secret "Cock Worship" Fantasy: How Fantasies Unlock Better Sex
In this week’s episode, Harley Rabbit takes a deep dive into the world of sexual fantasies and reveals one of her most provocative ones—a cock worship scenario rooted in her submissive desires.Harley discusses how fantasies can unlock deeper arousal, help you connect with your core desires, and transform your sex life—whether you're indulging solo or with a partner. She explores why fantasisi
#73: 4 Common Beliefs About Women’s Sexuality You’re Probably Getting Wrong
In this episode of Turns Out I’m Into It, Harley Rabbit takes on some of the most stubborn myths and misconceptions about women’s sexuality. Whether you’re a woman navigating these expectations or a man eager to understand your partner better, this episode is for you.Harley shares her personal experiences and insights from studying sexology, conversations with clients and friends, and challenges c
#72: Permission to be Sexy! Lessons from a Burlesque Class
In this empowering episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the topic of sex positivity and overcoming shame around sexuality. Sharing personal stories, including a formative memory from high school and a transformative recent experience in a burlesque dance class, Harley explores how societal messages shape our views on expressing sexuality. Harley reflects on reclaiming self-confidence and finding perm
#71: Overcoming Old Stories - How Kink Helped me get my First Tattoo!
In this episode, Harley Rabbit opens up about finally getting her first tattoo—a significant milestone that stirred up childhood memories and beliefs. Harley reflects on how her journey into kink and pain play has reshaped her understanding of resilience, pain, and bravery. Sharing stories about childhood fears, needle phobias, and reclaiming agency through kink, Harley discusses how these experie
#70: Harley Ruins Your Favorite Love Songs - Teddy Swims, Sia, Bruno Mars
In this episode, Harley dives into a fun yet insightful analysis of three popular love songs that might make you rethink your playlist: I Lose Control by Teddy Swims, Elastic Heart by Sia, and Grenade by Bruno Mars. Taking on the role of a relationship coach, Harley imagines these song lyrics as if they were clients sitting in a therapy session, sharing their romantic struggles.Harley explores how
#69: How Men Can Start Exploring CNC- Interview with Dotch
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) is often discussed from a woman’s perspective, but what about men? In this episode, I’m joined by Dotch, a Somatica® practitioner who once saw CNC as a hard limit but has since learned to enjoy facilitating these fantasies. Dotch shares his journey, from initial discomfort to embracing CNC in a way that feels safer, consensual, and exciting. We discuss the challenges m
#68: Romance vs BDSM - Which is More Intimate?
In this episode, Harley Rabbit delves into the concept of intimacy within the kink and BDSM communities, challenging common misconceptions that equate kink with violence and degradation. Harley emphasizes that true intimacy in kink is built on trust, vulnerability, and open communication. The discussion explores various forms of intimacy that can arise in kink, including the exploration of persona
#67: My Schoolgirl Fantasy - Exploring Middlespace
I got up to some exciting kinky shenanigans this weekend and I can’t wait to share! Slade and I did our most elaborate roleplay yet, which was a CNC schoolgirl fantasy. This has been a fantasy of mine for a long time, and was also my first time exploring middlespace. In this episode I share the details of the roleplay and what I learned, as well as how it felt to explore a more complicated for of
#66: Dipping Your Toe Into BDSM: Ideas for Beginners - with Jeanne Baade
In this episode, I talk with Jeanne Baade, a sex and relationship coach who discovered her sexuality later in life after growing up in a conservative christian household. Jeanne shares how she first experienced a clitoral orgasm at 48, and her journey into kink and BDSM. We explore simple ways for beginners to dip their toe into BDSM, like using blindfolds, scarves and rope harnesses to build trus
#65: The STI Questions You’re Too Afraid to Ask – With Dr Sara
In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that might not be the sexiest, but it’s crucial for anyone exploring their sexuality, especially in non-monogamous relationships. I’m joined by Dr. Sara Whitburn, a General Practitioner specialising in sexual health and the Deputy Medical Director at Sexual Health Victoria, to tackle all the awkward questions about STIs.We’ll be covering what you need to
#64: Igniting Libido - Bringing Desire Outside of the Bedroom
One of the most common challenges people experience in their sex life is issues with libido. Whether it's a mismatch with their partner's libido or a sudden drop-off, these issues can be frustrating and confusing. In today's episode, I introduce a controversial exercise called “Keeping Your Pilot Light On.” This exercise focuses on finding ways to comfortably tap into your arousal i
#63: Mastering Fetlife Profiles for Men - with Slade (Part 2)
Get ready for part 2 of our conversation about men’s profiles on Fetlife. If you're a man on Fetlife struggling to represent yourself authentically, these episodes provide invaluable tips and advice on how to do just that. In today’s episode, Slade shares how he implemented the changes we discussed last week, including doing his first writing, updating and refining his bio, and being more int
#62: Mastering Fetlife Profiles for Men - with Slade (Part 1)
Ok guys, if you're on Fetlife and not having much luck with the ladies… How much effort have you really put into your profile? Be honest! In this episode, I'm joined by my Dom and long-term partner, Slade, as we dive into men's profiles. Slade himself is guilty of not keeping his profile updated, and like many men, has a lot more to offer than his current profile showcases. Together
#61: The Art and Connection of Rope Bondage - with Ravel
If you are interested in rope bondage, you need to listen to this episode! Ravel is an experienced rigger from Brisbane Australia, who understands that rope is so much more than just technical skill. With a background in theatre, dance and performing arts, Ravel talks about bringing intention to your rope scenes - that is, knowing what kind of experience and emotions you are wanting to cultivate,
#60: Slade and I had our First FMF Threesome!
I know this is an experience on a lot of people’s ‘Fuckit lists’ so I thought I’d share some details that might help you in organising a similar experience... 🌶 In this episode I start by talking about the planning process, recognising agency, and some key factors that helped me transition into the right headspace for kinky play. I also share about what it’s like to include a CNC / free use type o
#59: The Dynamic Mind of a Pleasure Sub - with Chained Valkyrie
I am super excited to have the incredible Chained Valkyrie on the show today. Valkyrie identifies as a pleasure sub, and as you’ll find out, there are many different kinks she enjoyed as part of her submissive identity. These include Impact, pet play, ABDL, degradation, and many more. We also cover the use of intermediate safewords, comparing yourself to others in kink, as well as the good and bad
#58: Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn? People Pleasing in Kink
What the hell is “fawning” and what does it have to do with kink? Well, that’s exactly what we are talking about on today’s episode. If you are someone who struggles with people pleasing to the point of crossing your own boundaries, this episode may be especially relevant to you. Also in this episode I share my recent experiences joining a yoga studio to improve core strength and flexibility for m
#57: Empowerment through Dominance - Interview with Jessica Langley
I have an exciting guest for you today. She is another friend from my Somatica course and her name is Jessica Langley. Jessica is a somatic sexologist, based in Colorado and she is dedicated to liberating humans from toxic shame and helping people live more authentic lives. She believes that embodied pleasure is a birthright, and she can help you reclaim your sacred eroticism. Jessica is queer and
#56: Reflections on Speaking Out, and Cultivating Your Feed
In this week's episode I reflect on the responses I got from speaking out in episode #54. I am so grateful to everyone who has reached out to me, shared their stories, or told me the episode had an impact on them. I was very nervous about how the episode would be received and this really goes to show that most people in this community are good humans! Also in this episode I reveal some of my
#55: Saying No - The Power of Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries might seem straightforward, but it’s often challenging to recognise and communicate them, especially in the context of kink. This week's episode dives into the complexities of identifying and asserting your boundaries, with a particular focus on the struggles faced by those with anxiety who may have become adept at ignoring their body’s warning signals. I share insights fro
#54: I had a Bad Experience - This is What Happened
This week’s podcast was the hardest I’ve ever recorded. It’s easy to share the positive aspects of kink—the great experiences and the joys of exploration. What’s hard is sharing the negative experiences. It would have been much easier to keep this private, but my podcast is about sharing my kink journey openly and honestly. I can't do that if I’m only highlighting the good parts.In this episo
#53: Surprising Lessons from Floor Ropes!
In this episode, I dive into a recent adventure that took me to Brisbane, where I explored rope suspension for the first time. While I successfully achieved my suspension goals, it was the floor rope scenes with a talented rigger named Ravel (@ravel_shibari on Instagram) that truly transformed my perspective on rope.Join me as I share about these floor scenes, revealing what they looked like, how
#52: Fire, Sensation Play and Somatic Therapy - with Alisa Millard
Welcome to the next instalment of our Everyday Kinkster series. In today’s episode I have a chat with Alisa Milard. Alisa is studying at Somatica Institute with me, and she has also just started her practice at Intimacy Illumination as a somatic sex and relationship coach. Alisa shares all about her kink journey, beginning with what it’s like to be a single female sub navigating this world on your
#49: How to Give INSANE Blowjobs - Even if you Can’t Deepthroat
I am so excited to dive into this topic today! Most of us learn about blowjobs from porn, which usually shows some very talented actresses and actors taking a lot, very deeply! This is actually pretty hard to do (especially for a long time) and there is no wonder that so many of us think we are bad at giving blowjobs. In this episode I’m going to teach you my biggest secret to giving an insane blo
#48: I Booked a Rope Trip! - Planning an Experience Safely
Hey friends! Today I am spilling the beads about my plans for a rope trip in Brisbane! Woop Woop! I am doing a rope class with Slade, visiting the Crystal Chateau, and have organised two rope sessions with some amazing riggers! It is super scary to plan scenes, especially with people you don’t know, so that’s why in this episode I walk you through all the steps I took to plan this experience, so y
#47: Australia's First Age Play Convention Kangacon! - Interview with DaddaG
Meet the man behind Kangacon - Australia's first Ageplay convention. I had so much fun chatting to DaddaG about his journey as an ABDL and a caregiver. DaddaG is filled with amazing stories about his experiences with other ABDL’s, he also shares about his many trips to CAPCon and TeddyCon in the US, and how these conventions inspired him to start KangaCon in Australia. Tickets to KangaCon are
#46: Strength in Darkness - Soothing Trauma with BDSM
Summary:In this episode, Harley Rabbit concludes the mini-series on degradation play, pain play, and taboo kinks by discussing trauma and its relationship to kink. She addresses the misconception that kink is a symptom of trauma and emphasizes that kink is a normal and healthy expression of human sexuality. Harley explores how kink can play a role in alleviating trauma and discusses two pathways f
#45: The Truth About Turn-Ons
SummaryIn this episode, Harley Rabbit explores the concept of arousal beyond romance and challenges the idea that love is the sole source of arousal. She introduces the concept of the four emotional aphrodisiacs: closeness, anxiety, guilt, and anger. Harley shares a personal experience of fulfilling a fantasy and discusses a study on peak erotic experiences. She delves into the connection between
#44: When bad feels really good - kink is NOT abuse
SummaryIn this episode, Harley Rabbit explores the difference between abuse and kink. She shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the importance of agency in kink scenes. Harley discusses how agency creates a safe container for exploring negative emotions and sensations, such as embarrassment, anxiety, and pain. She emphasizes the need for consent, negotiation, and boundaries in kink pl
#43: Live Sex Shows, Pole Dancing and Help for Veterans - with Will Denison
Today I am starting a new series called Every Day Kinksters. The idea is to interview regular, everyday people, either from Fetlife or wherever, and ask them about their journey - because we all have a story to tell!Today’s episode came about because I was talking to one of my classmates, Will Denison, and he casually mentioned he used to do live sex shows… so of course I stopped him right there,
#42: Advice for new submissives (don't make these mistakes!)
Recently I’ve had quite a few DM’s from subs who are new to kink, but are unsure on how to find a good Dominant partner, and how to stay safe in general. So, I figured this would be a great topic for this week’s podcast!First of all, if you are a sub and you’re just starting out on your kink journey, well done!!! This is an amazing world, and you are going to learn and experience so much more than
#41: The Art of Erotic Photography - Interview with KinkyLens
This week it was my absolute pleasure to speak with artist, kinkster and fet!sh photographer KinkyLens! I know many of you enjoy taking sexy photos of your kinky explorations, and this episode is packed with tips and advice for capturing those magic moments on camera.Len speaks about his experiences, including what it’s like to photograph couples having sx! He shares about his journey in k!nk, beg
