ADHD Mums
ADHD Mums is an unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast for mums with ADHD or those raising neurodivergent kids. Hosted by educational neuroscientist and advocate Jane McFadden, it blends raw confessions, expert insights, and hard-hitting advocacy on issues like ADHD medication shortages and NDIS red tape. The show has amassed over a million downloads and has influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, with episodes featuring neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders. It offers a supportive space for mothers feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or isolated.
Episodes
27. ADHD and Survival Mode: How to Stop Trying Harder and Actually Thrive (with Rachel Few)
From the outside, she's on top of it. Then something small happens — a cold, a bad night, one extra thing — and the whole thing collapses. And she decides the collapse is the problem. She needs to be better. More disciplined. Try harder.But the collapse isn't the problem. The collapse is information. The problem is that she's been running her whole life on a system that was never built for her bra
26. Why You Can't Accept Kindness: Masking, Surface Acting and the Wall That Blocks Love In
Your best friend leaves a box of tampons on your doorstep on the worst day of your fortnight — no fuss, no waiting around, just quietly handling the piece of the nightmare nobody else saw. And you well up. Real tears. And then you wait ten minutes to make sure she's gone before you'll even open the door, delete the thank-you you started typing, and walk off. Because you could not have said it to h
25. When You Say Too Much: ADHD, Oversharing and the Room Going Quiet
Have you ever answered a simple question with the whole real answer — and watched the room go a particular kind of quiet? Have you ever lain awake at 2am running back one thing you said in a group chat three years ago, certain everyone clocked it the way you did? Have you ever walked out of a room having already decided you were the too-much one before anyone said a word?There's a reason your brai
24. The 3 Types of ADHD in Women (And Why So Many of Us Go Undiagnosed)
For thirty years, ADHD has had one wanted poster. Loud, can't sit still, disrupting the class, talking back — a boy. And you weren't him. So you walked past every checkpoint in your life — the GP, the teachers, the report cards, the parent-teacher nights — and nobody stopped you. Maybe someone said you were bright, you just needed to apply yourself. Maybe you got 'conscientious' on every report ca
23. ADHD and Marriage: We Separated for 18 Months. Then He Got Diagnosed. (with Emily Jade O'Keeffe)
In the Facebook group there's a pattern that comes up again and again: the mum grows. She gets the kids assessed, she starts to recognise herself, she does the reading and the therapy and the work — and the husband lags behind. He won't consider that he's neurodivergent, or the problem is always someone else. The kids. The school. Her. And underneath it all is the question so many women are actual
22. Mental Load: 'I'm Just Tired of Being the Only Adult.' When the Kids Start Paying For It.
The mental load starts as the thing you can laugh about — the admin, the medal for mowing the lawn. And then, somewhere underneath it, it stops being funny. It's the sentence that comes out of your mouth before you can stop it: 'would you mind having the kids on Saturday so I can get a haircut' — asking the other parent for their own children like you're lodging annual leave with HR. It's 'they we
21. ADHD Assessment: What Actually Happens in a Psychiatrist's Appointment (with Dr Brendan Daugherty)
**This episode is general information only and is not medical advice. If any of it applies to you, please talk it through with your own GP or psychiatrist**Have you ever walked out of a psychiatrist's office more confused than when you walked in? Not sure what just happened, whether you got a diagnosis, what you were supposed to ask, or whether the thing you were terrified of — coming across like
20. Mental Load: He Mowed the Lawn Once and Wanted to Know If You Saw It.
The mental load is not the doing. Everyone thinks it's the doing. It's the buy now, pay later maths you run when your partner tells you to rest — the hour you lie down and spend the whole hour calculating what this hour is costing you tomorrow. It's being the default parent, the one whose invisible labour only gets noticed the second it stops. And then, into that, walks the one who did the single
19. Is Daycare Causing ADHD? Debunking the Diary of a CEO Episode. (with Amanda Moses)
Someone sent you the clip. Or your friend messaged about it. Or your mother-in-law forwarded it without comment and you sat there for a minute knowing exactly what she meant by that. The Diary of a CEO episode with Erica Komisar — the one saying ADHD isn't real, it's a stress response, and if your child has it the inconvenient truth is that you caused it. Two and a half hours long. Fifteen million
18. Mental Load: 'Do We Have Parmesan Cheese?' He Was Standing at the Fridge. I Was Interstate
The mental load is the thing you couldn't name for years — the invisible mental load that means one adult in the house knows when library day is and one adult keeps asking. The one who anticipates, identifies, decides, and monitors, and the one who stands next to the dishwasher and shouts through to the lounge room to ask if it's clean. You've known the pattern for years. You've done the therapy.
17. Good Girl Conditioning: Breaking the Pattern Before It Reaches Our Daughters — with Rachel Seiler
You know good girl conditioning because you've lived it. The self-editing. The 'whatever you want.' The 'I don't mind.' You spent your twenties in the wrong careers and your thirties in therapy, and you're still catching yourself doing it in your forties. And now you're watching your neurodivergent daughter start — the compliant one, the helpful one — and you don't know how to name it, let alone s
16. Anxiety or ADHD? Understanding the Two Types of Racing Thoughts and what to do about them
It's 10:15 on a Sunday night. You've come out to the kitchen to rinse one pot. One. And now you're just standing there, not touching it — because the second you stopped moving, it started. The permission slip. The referral. Was it orange day. The group chat you didn't answer. The dog bowl. And underneath all of it, the thought that always turns up: what's wrong with you, everyone else can do this.
15. Should Kids Be Made to Hug Relatives? Give Your Auntie a Kiss. He Said No With His Face.
Have you ever stood at the sink at nine o'clock at night, kids asleep, house finally quiet, and had a friend text you how are you going? — and found nothing there? Not sad. Not fine. Just nothing. You could have told her exactly how the kids were, what's on tomorrow, what your hubby's up to, what's happening with the school term. But you, the actual person underneath running all of it — you went l
14. Why Are You Always So Stressed Out? My Eight-Year-Old Asked Me That an Hour After I Called Myself Organised
You did the envelope early. You had the cash inside. You booked the babysitter. You had three adults on deck for one soccer game. And by the time you got to the car park, you were at 3% battery, panting, holding someone else's dog, and your son had his shirt over his head pretending to be a turtle.You'd done everything right. And it still looked like you hadn't done anything at all.What We CoverTh
13. At Least Dad Did a Load of Washing... Her 9-Year-Old Said It Mid-Fight. That Was the Bar.
Have you ever made a deal with yourself at the end of a really bad week — that's it, I'm not doing it anymore, I'm only doing what he does — and then washed up three times by Tuesday without noticing? Have you ever bought him something mid-fight when you were supposed to be on strike? Have you ever lost it because your nine-year-old defended his dad by pointing out he did one load of washing, as i
12. MUM RAGE #4: 3 Reasons Your ADHD Medication Isn't Touching Mum Rage.
Have you ever been on medication, done all the things, prepped, pre-scheduled, and still lost the plot completely — and then spent the drive home wondering if the medication is even working? Have you ever gone back to your GP and said 'I'm still losing it' and walked out with a higher dose, a different script, or a referral — and none of it touched the actual problem? Have you ever thought maybe I
11. I Planned the Day Off to Finally Get Things Done. By 11am I'd Done Nothing and Hated Myself for It
Have you ever told yourself you'll finally do the thing when it's quiet — and then the quiet came and you reorganised a drawer? Have you ever promised yourself the school holidays would be different, stacked up everything you were going to get done, and then spent the first Monday back staring at the wall and doing everyone's admin except your own? Have you ever been the most productive you've bee
9. MUM RAGE #3: 3 Reasons Rage Hits Hours After the Thing That Set It Off.
It's 11:00 PM. You sit up in bed with your chest tight and your heart going. Nothing happened. You went to sleep fine. You lie there trying to work out what's wrong with you, and the answer is nothing — except your body has been running a two-hour delayed reaction to a school email you read, closed, and forgot about at 9:02 PM.What We CoverThe 9:02 PM email, the 11:00 PM panic, and why the two nev
8. Just 'Find a Good Stopping Place on the Ipad' It's 5:45pm on a Wednesday. He's in a Minecraft Cave. The Dog Needs a Bone.
📬 Listener Questions & CommunityIt's 5:45 PM. I'm cooking three separate dinners on not enough burners. My six-year-old is crying about the green spoon. My eight-year-old is in a Minecraft cave with a dog that needs a bone. My ten-year-old has found paint.'Find a good stopping place' is good advice.It just assumes conditions that don't exist in this house.What We CoverThe 5:45 PM scenario in f
7. MUM RAGE #2: 3 Reasons 'Just Breathe' Has Never Worked (and what does)
A psychologist told me to do a body scan. I was lying on hard yellow grass in 38-degree heat with three kids screaming inside and ants on my arms, trying to feel my body. I felt nothing. Or I felt everything and couldn't name any of it.She concluded the problem was me.It wasn't.What We CoverWhy 'just breathe' and body scans keep failing ADHD mums — and why that failure isn't yoursThe difference be
6. What Do I Do When Being Reasonable Hasn't Worked? The School Escalation Pathway Schools Don't Tell You About - with Sara Hocking
The principal told you to contact region. Region told you to contact the principal. You're sitting in your car wondering if you're going quietly insane. You're not — and neither is the principal. The system is built to do exactly this, to everyone inside it. Sara Hocking is back to map a way out, and the news isn't what you think.What We Cover The one subject line that forces an official response
5. They Took Away the Village and Handed Us the iPad. Then They Told Us Not to Use It.
A friend came over the other day. She'd just done a week on the Sunshine Coast with her three kids, the whole pack-up by herself. We were sitting at my kitchen table doing that thing where you're laughing and crying at the same time. She couldn't get her kids to put the bins out because they were glued to their iPads. I said yep, same. The deeper problem isn't just the iPad. It's that someone pull
4. MUM RAGE #1: 3 Reasons ADHD Mum Rage Feels Like It Came Out of Nowhere. (It Didn't.)
I picked up the kids in my husband's car the other day. The youngest said something. The next one waited until they finished, then said something back. There was a pause. I turned around and looked at three kids not even fighting and thought, is this how pickup goes? In my car, it's on the second they get in. Someone's interrupting, someone's yelling, I'm turning the music up to drown them out, re
3. It's 11:40pm. I'm Not on My Phone for Fun. I'm on the Password Reset Page for the Third Time
You're at the dinner table you fought to make happen. Your phone lights up — school app, swimming's been moved, the bag has to be packed tonight. You know in your bones that if you don't write it down right now, it's gone by morning. You pick up your phone. Your kid says, you said no phones at dinner, I'm getting my iPad then. The parenting advice has told you you've just damaged everyone. The res
2. 4 Reasons You Can't Eat Breakfast Until the Kitchen's Clean. Why Most Advice Won't Work — and the One Thing That Will.
Listener Question Episode: Bec drops the kids at school, the kitchen's a mess, and she can't let herself eat breakfast until it's clean. Loads the washing on too — wouldn't want to waste time. She finally sits down at 11am. She's wondering if it's an ADHD thing or if she's just weird. She's not weird. She's been trying the wrong strategy on the wrong problem for years.What We CoverBec's voicemail,
1. Season 4 Launch Who Am I If I Stop Being In Service to Everyone in My Life?
The cafe moment. A waiter. Six seconds of blank silence. I've ordered for everyone in my life for 40 years and when someone asked what I wanted, there was nobody home. Season 4 starts here. This isn't a self-help season. It's not a divorce season. It's the work nobody warned us about — what happens after the diagnosis, when the operating system fails and you don't know who you are without it.What
108. 'Supportive of What?' The Year a Friend Asked Me One Question and Broke the Season 3
The birthday of ADHD Mums came and went and I didn't celebrate. I'd spent a whole season demanding a seat at the table. By the end of it I was in bed, couldn't walk, getting diagnosed with perimenopause mid-record, and a friend asked me one question that broke the whole thing open. Supportive of what?What We CoverThe launch episode promise — "no more explaining, just strategy" — and why I delivere
107. Sorry I'm Late. I Have ADHD.' But .... My Friend Has ADHD Too. She's Never Late
Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it.What We CoverThe vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brainThe receptionist who handed me the appointment card
106. He'll Eat When He's Hungry.' Three Years Later My Son Was in Hospital on a Feeding Tube with Tracy Jewel Constable
You take your child to the doctor. You tell them this isn't fussy, this isn't a phase. They tell you he'll grow out of it. Maybe it's his tonsils. Maybe you're anxious. Maybe your boundaries aren't strong enough. You leave the appointment knowing something isn't right, and starting to wonder if the something is you.What We CoverWhy ARFID gets missed for years while professionals chase tonsils, gro
105. I'm Gentle With My Daughter for Ten Minutes. Then I Tell Myself to Stop Being Such a F*cking Embarrassment
You can talk your daughter down in two minutes. Then you turn around and tell yourself to stop being such a f*cking embarrassment.Same brain. Same mum. Two completely different voices within minutes.🧠 What we cover in this episode:Why you can co-regulate a child in two minutes and tear yourself apart for the rest of the dayThe "good girl" reflex and how we absorbed an inward voice between six and
104. When a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids with Amanda Moses
Sometimes the only thing that got you through the day was the iPad.And then you scrolled past a clip telling you screens are rewiring your kid's brain. Causing ADHD. Making them socially broken. And your stomach dropped.You weren't being lazy. You were trying to regulate yourself before you said something you'd regret.But the guilt arrived anyway. Right on cue.This week, Amanda Moses — senior psyc
103: When You Say 'I Don't Mind, Whatever's Easy' for Mother's Day — And Spend Sunday Cleaning Up Your Own Gifts
There's a script around Mother's Day that doesn't account for any of us.You're meant to want a candle, a coffee, a sleep-in, and to look visibly grateful at the end of it. If you can't name what you want, you're ungrateful. If you do name it, you have to manage it. If you stay quiet, you spend Sunday night cleaning up the wrapping paper from your own gifts.This episode is the one underneath that s
102. When You Stop Calling Your Friend and Start Talking to ChatGPT — And You're Not Sure What It's Costing You with Laetitia Andrac
Half the conversations about AI are men in San Francisco telling you it'll change everything. The other half are people telling you it'll destroy the planet and your children's future.Neither of those people are doing the school run, the NDIS application, the lunchboxes, or holding it together at 9pm.This episode is for the mum in the middle. The one who's curious but hesitant. The one who's alrea
101. RE-RELEASE: When You Stop Your ADHD Meds for the Baby — And the Pram Rolls Across the Car Park with Rodney Whyte
This podcast episode is not a replacement for individual medical advice and is general education only.You go to the mother's group, you don't put the brake on the pram, and it rolls across the carpark.Baby is fine. You are not.You're already the mum who decided — quietly, without asking anyone — that you wouldn't take your ADHD meds while breastfeeding. Because that's what good mothers do.This is
100. When You Know School Isn't Working — And You're Still Waiting for Permission to Leave with Rebecca English
You've spent more time on drop-offs, pickups and meetings this week than your kid has spent actually learning.You keep telling yourself the routine is good for them. They come home flat anyway.You can see it isn't working. You just can't picture what else looks like.So you stay on the fence. Another term. Another meeting. Another 11pm google.What we coverWhy most homeschoolers in Australia didn't
99. When the Teacher Asks ‘What Can I Do to Help? But You Don’t Know What to Say with Kat Marrington & Sally Galloway
If your child looks ‘fine’ at school… but falls apart the second they get home —this episode is for you.🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:What masking really looks like in a classroom settingWhy ‘they’re fine at school’ can be deeply misleadingThe invisible work happening before the school day even startsWhy internalising kids are often missed entirelyWhat it costs to ‘look like you’re coping’ all d
99. When School Feels Too Much Too Early — Expectation Creep Explained with Rebecca English
If you’ve ever sat in a school meetinghearing what’s ‘expected’…and thought‘this feels like too much… too early’ —this episode is for you.Because sometimes it’s not subtle.It’s that quiet moment where something doesn’t sit right…but you’re told it’s normal.In this episode, we unpack what’s really happening when school expectations keep creeping up — academically, behaviourally, socially — and why
98. When You Say ‘Can We Talk’ — And It Blows Up Straight Away
If you’ve ever said‘can we just talk about something?’and it escalatesbefore you’ve even said the thing —this episode is for you.Because it’s not the conversationthat’s blowing up.It’s what happensin the seconds before it even starts. In this episode, we unpack that exact moment — the one where you’re trying to keep it calm, keep it small, keep it ‘not a big deal’…and somehow it still turns into t
97. The Invisible Job: Being the One Who Holds Everything Together
If you’ve ever stepped away for five minutes…come back…and everything has already escalated —this episode is for you.Because it’s not just the moment.It’s the feeling that if you’re not there…it doesn’t hold.And somehowyou’ve become the thingthat keeps everything from tipping over.In this episode, we unpack the invisible role so many ADHD mums carry — the one where you’re not just part of the fami
96. When You Keep Starting the Same Thing — And It Never Gets Finished
In this episode, we unpack the invisible load of trying to do something simple inside a day that won’t hold it. The interruptions, the split attention, the constant restarting — and how quickly that gets turned into ‘I’m the problem.’From the outside, it looks like nothing happened.But inside it?You were doing that one taskover and over again.🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:Why ‘simple tasks’ don’
95. When You Make Yourself the Joke — And It Turns Into ‘That’s Just Who I Am’
In this episode, we unpack the very real (and very common) experience of showing up already stretched… masking it with humour… and then internalising the entire thing as a personality flaw.The jokes land.People laugh.It looks like you’re coping.But underneath it — something else is happening.🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:What’s actually happening when you default to self-deprecating humourWhy ‘b
94. When a Group Chat Goes in Circles — And You Leave Feeling Like You’re the Problem
If you’ve ever left a group chatreplaying everything you said…and everything you didn’t…and somehow landed on‘that felt off… was that me?’this episode is for you.Because this isn’t just about group chats.Or school committees.Or awkward conversations that go nowhere.It’s about what happens when everyone in the roomis solving a different problem…and no one realises it.In this episode, we unpack the
93. When You Remove the Stress — And Start Wondering What’s Wrong With You
If you’ve removed the pressure…stepped back…even taken a break…and you still feel on edge — this episode is for you.Because this is the part no one explains.When nothing is ‘wrong’ anymore…but your body is still acting like it is.In this episode, we unpack what happens when stress isn’t the thing driving your anxiety — and why removing the load doesn’t always create relief. If you’ve ever wondered
92 The Teen They Called ‘The Problem’ — And What Changed in a Different School Setting with Em Jeffrey
There’s a moment when you realise it’s not just a ‘bad term’ at school.It’s mornings that feel impossible.A child who won’t go.Or can’t go.And suddenly the question changes from'how do we fix this?'to'where do we go now?'WHAT WE COVER– What actually happens when mainstream school stops working– Why some children aren’t ‘failing school’ — the system is failing them– The reality of alternative educa
91. ‘When Someone Says “We Didn’t Have ADHD Back Then” — And You Start Defending Your Parenting’
There is a moment at a family barbecue where your child isn’t sitting at the table.They’re walking.Talking.Eating on the move.And someone says it.'We didn’t have this ADHD thing when we had kids.'And just like that, it stops being about lunchand starts feeling like it’s about you.Because what sounds casuallands like doubt.WHAT WE COVER– Why 'we didn’t have ADHD back then' still shows up in familie
90. ‘When Someone Says “We Didn’t Have ADHD Back Then” — And You Start Questioning Yourself with Kat Marrington & Sally Galloway
Somewhere in almost every ADHD conversation, someone eventually says it.'There weren't kids like this when I was at school.'Or the slightly more polite version:'Why are there suddenly so many ADHD kids now?'And if you're a parent of a neurodivergent child, you've probably heard this one too:'Maybe it's just screens.'This episode pulls that myth apart.Because the truth is far more complex — and far
89. When the Quiet Kids Are Struggling — But No One Notices with Bronnie Hammond-Vale
School systems are built to notice disruption.The child throwing chairs.The child refusing to sit down.The child who can't stay quiet.But there is another group of kids.The ones who sit still.The ones who follow instructions.The ones teachers describe as 'lovely', 'polite', or 'no trouble at all'.And those are often the kids quietly falling apart.Because when a child internalises stress instead of
88. When Being the ‘Good Student’ Is Actually Hurting Your Child with Bronnie Hammond-Vale
You're told your child is doing great at school.'Wish I had more like her''No issues here.'But every afternoon at 3pm something else happens.The car door shuts.And the child who 'had a great day' collapses.The meltdown doesn't start at school.It starts when the mask comes off.For many Mums, this creates a strange kind of confusion.School says everything is fine.But home tells a completely differen
87.When You Stay Calm at School — And Leave Feeling Like You Didn’t Do Enough with Sara Hocking
You’ve sent the emails.You’ve attended the meetings.You’ve tried to be calm, collaborative, reasonable.And nothing changes.Then suddenly something serious happens — a suspension, an incident, a formal complaint — and overnight the school moves quickly.So what just happened?This episode unpacks the moment many ADHD mums eventually hit: the point where being reasonable stops working — and why that h
86. When the Teacher Is Trying — And You Still Leave the Meeting Questioning Everything with Bronnie Hammond-Vale
There is a particular kind of confusion that happens when your child likes their teacher.If you’ve ever thought, ‘But she’s so lovely… why isn’t this working?’ I explore this massive question wth Bronnie Hammond-Vale.This episode is for you.WHY THIS MATTERSSometimes the problem is the gap between teacher intention and system capacity.A teacher can care deeply.A teacher can try hard.A teacher can b
85. Is the Problem the Child — Or the Learning Plan? with Kat Marrington and Sally Galloway
You’re sitting in a meeting thinking you’re here to talk about support.There’s a plan. There are ‘adjustments’.And yet your child is still escalating… and suddenly the school is hinting at removal, reduced hours, or ‘this isn’t the right setting’.This episode is the practical middle bit no one gives you:When a plan exists, but it’s either the wrong plan — or it’s not actually being applied.WHY THI
84. When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem with Wren Wilson
There is a moment in some school meetings where the language changes.You walk in expecting support. Adjustments. Solutions.But then different words start appearing.‘Safety.’‘Impact on others.’‘Capacity.’‘We’ve tried everything.’And you can feel the shift before you fully understand it.You start thinking:How did this go from help… to risk?WHY THIS MATTERSADHD mums are already carrying invisible lab
83. When ADHD Becomes the Reason You Stop Trying...
You’re not lying on the couch saying ‘poor me.’You’re functioning. Packing lunches. Showing up. Holding it together.But quietly, inside, you’ve started believing:‘This is just how it is for me.’WHY THIS MATTERSADHD mums carry more correction, more visible mistakes, more invisible labour, more system friction.So when something goes wrong, it doesn’t land as ‘that was hard.’It lands as proof.Proof y
82. ADHD Overstimulation: Overwhelmed Before 7am, and No One Sees the Work with Rachel Few
This episode is for ADHD mums who feel like they’re living inside a nervous system experiment.The kind where everything is technically ‘fine’… until the TV is on, someone’s making mouth noises, a child is asking 400 questions, another one is humming, and your body is trying to exit the situation through the nearest wall.We talk a lot about overstimulation like it’s a personal flaw. Like you should
81. The Hidden Cost of Being the 'Good Girl' — How the Mental Load Became Ours
This episode is for ADHD mums who have ever sat in a car park before an assessment and felt their whole nervous system start negotiating with the evidence.Because the paperwork looks fine.The report cards look fine.Your life looks fine.And you’re standing there knowing that ‘fine’ is exactly what disqualifies you.This is the ADHD myth as it actually lands. Not as a hot take online — but as a priva
80. The Invisible Coordination Load: Why ADHD Mums Carry the Work Systems Won’t
This episode sits right in the space where mental load, motherhood, and neurodivergence collide.It’s about the exhaustion that doesn’t come from doing one hard thing — but from having to remember everything, explain everything, repeat everything, and stay emotionally available while your own capacity is already gone.For many ADHD mums, the hardest part of advocacy isn’t the paperwork. It’s being t
79. Why Does My Partner Keep Asking Me Questions When My Brain Is Full?
This episode is for ADHD mums who feel their nervous system spike over questions that look harmless on the surface. The kind of questions that arrive when the brain is already full, already tracking consequences, already holding the household together. What’s commonly said is that this is about tone, patience, or communication. What actually happens is that one brain becomes the default place wher
78. Grieving the Child You Imagined — While Loving the One in Front of You with Dr Vanessa LaPointe
There is a kind of grief that mums are not supposed to name. It could be called ungrateful.. but a lot of us feel it. So it stays private, carried quietly while life keeps moving and decisions keep getting made.This episode sits with the grief of the unlived motherhood — the version of parenting that was imagined, planned for, and socially rewarded, and then slowly dismantled by reality. Not becau
77. Turning the Car Around for the Hat — So It Must Be Me
Responsibility’s already on me.If this tips, it’ll be because I waited too long.That’s how the morning starts.There’s a clock running. Shoes half on. Bags not where they should be. One kid slowing down, another winding up. Nothing’s happened yet, but the margin’s already thin. I step in early, before anyone else thinks it’s necessary, and it gets read straight away as 'being grumpy.'In This Episod
76. Always Leaving First — The Social Cost for ADHD Mums
You can feel it tipping before anyone else does.Everyone’s still chatting, still comfortable, and your body’s already tightening.You know if you stay, you’ll be the one dealing with what comes next.It’s that familiar moment where nothing’s happened yet, but you’re already bracing for the clean-up.In This Episode, We CoverWhat it’s like to step in early when you’re the one who ends up carrying the
75. I Was Fine Until No One Replied
This episode sits in a very specific moment: when nothing has technically happened, but your whole system reacts as if something has gone wrong.A message goes unanswered. A reply takes longer than expected. A conversation pauses.And suddenly, silence feels loaded.In this episode, Jane explores why those moments don’t register as neutral. They register as danger. Not because you’re dramatic or over
74. You’re Not That Mum (Back to School Edition)
If you’re standing at the edge of a new school year already feeling tight, alert, or on edge — this episode is for you.Not because you’re anxious.Not because you’re controlling.And not because you’re ‘that mum’.In this episode, Jane unpacks what actually happens for many mums as school resumes — especially those parenting neurodivergent children. The pressure to stay ahead. To manage outcomes. To
73. Being Judged for Choosing Understanding Over Punishment
If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too soft’ or that your child just needs firmer discipline — this episode is for you.Not because you need to learn how to parent better.But because the judgement itself is the problem.In this episode, Jane unpacks one of the most exhausting myths ADHD parents face:that challenging behaviour is a discipline failure rather than a regulation issue.When children melt do
72. You’re Not Behind — You Learned to Carry Responsibility Too Early
You’re not behind.And you’re not failing at life.If you wake up already tired — before anything has even happened — this episode explains why.Not in a ‘here’s what to do’ way.In a ‘nothing is wrong with you’ way.In this episode, Jane names the invisible thing that keeps so many mums feeling behind, rushed, and quietly panicked even on calm days: carrying responsibility before it’s required.It’s wh
71. When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet — What Your Body Is Doing and Why
You’re not bad at relaxing.And you’re not doing rest wrong.If you’ve ever noticed yourself cleaning, tidying, or “finding something to do” in the very moments you’re supposed to be enjoying — this episode explains why.In this short but powerful conversation, Jane unpacks why so many mums feel restless, guilty, or half-revved when things finally go quiet, and why that response isn’t anxiety or a pe
70. The Resolutions None of Us Actually Did
You didn’t fail your New Year’s resolutions.You survived a year that was heavier than the plans you made for it.I asked the ADHD Mums community how their New Year’s goals actually went last year — and the answers weren’t lazy, careless, or undisciplined. They were honest. Tender. Exhausted.This episode is a collective exhale for every mum who promised she’d get organised, rest more, yell less, mov
69. QUICK RESET: ADHD Parental Burnout — Too Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Be
If you feel like you’re failing at parenting because you’re constantly exhausted, flat, or shutting down — this episode is for you.This isn’t about trying harder or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why ADHD and neurodivergent mums don’t just get tired — we get depleted.In This Episode, We Cover:Why exhaustion can feel like numbness instead of emotionWhat dopamine debt looks like in real l
68. 🎅 You’re Allowed to Be Done — Even at Christmas
What if the calm you felt last Christmas wasn’t a fluke — but a clue?In this episode, Jane responds to a listener who accidentally lost her Christmas list… and felt calmer than she ever had in December. Not because she stopped caring — but because the mental load finally dropped.This conversation explains why ADHD mums hit capacity faster at Christmas, why letting go feels terrifying, and why you’
67: The Xmas Yes That Should’ve Been a No
I thought I was being polite.I thought I was keeping my options open.But somewhere between exhaustion, people-pleasing, and old survival habits, I abandoned myself — again.In this episode, I share the exact moment it clicked: my 'soft no’s' weren’t boundaries at all. They were apologies wearing polite outfits. And when everything finally caught up with me, my nervous system had already run out of
66. Stop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child
December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode.This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing? It’s not just about presents. I
65. I’m the Magic of Christmas… But Apparently I’m Grumpy Too
Silent rage at Christmas isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a nervous system collapse.In this episode, we unpack why ADHD mums hit overwhelm earlier and harder during December, why the “tiny straw” moments feel massive, and how the invisible mental load of Christmas pushes your brain into shutdown mode long before anyone notices.This is a compassionate, nervous-system-first explanation of why you’re
64. Did Santa Just Take Credit for My Mental Breakdown?
Christmas isn’t “cosy magic” for many ADHD mums — it’s a high-pressure, high-sensory, invisible-load marathon that no one else sees. In this episode, Jane breaks down why holiday overwhelm hits harder, why silent rage feels frightening and unfair, and what your nervous system is actually doing long before the wrapping-night meltdown. You’re not failing Christmas — you’ve been carrying it.What We C
63. The Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enough
If December already feels like you’re sprinting through wet concrete, this episode is your deep breath. Christmas asks ADHD mums to hold the magic and the mess — late-night wrapping, invisible labour, the Boxing Day guilt hangover — and still somehow feel like we’re not doing enough.This is the story of the year Jane finally said: good enough is enough. And maybe this is the year you get to say it
62. ADHD Meds & Kids: The Questions You're Too Afraid to Ask with Mimi Xu
Some days it feels like you need a medical degree just to parent a neurodivergent kid. The waitlists, the myths, the pressure to ‘get it right’ — it can all become overwhelming fast. In this episode, child psychiatrist Dr Mimi Xu finally gives mums clear, compassionate answers about ADHD meds for kids, without judgement or jargon.💡 What We CoverWhy ADHD medication is never a one-size-fits-all deci
61. Christmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There
If you’re already running on caffeine and obligation — this one’s for you. December has a way of convincing ADHD mums that magic only counts if it hurts. But what if “good enough” was actually enough?This week, Jane shares the story of the Christmas she finally stopped performing for everyone else — and started living it for herself.💡 What We CoverWhy ADHD brains struggle to know when to stopThe d
59. The Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else
If you’ve already cried in a shopping centre car park — you’re not alone.In this raw and funny ADHD Mums Christmas episode, Jane breaks down why the season feels like an emotional Olympics for neurodivergent parents — and how to stop performing and start protecting your energy.This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less on purpose.Using the ‘Red Pen’ approach, Jane shows how to cross out wh
58. Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence with Tracey Jewel
When a child melts down in public or refuses to eat, the world sees “bad behaviour.” But often, what looks like defiance or poor parenting is actually neurodivergence — and a family doing their best in a system that doesn’t understand them.In this deeply validating conversation, Jane sits down with Tracey Jewel — author, advocate, and mum of a neurodivergent family — to talk about reframing “bad p
57. You’re Not Delusional — There’s Real Joy in Parenting a Neurodivergent Child
Trigger WarningThis episode includes mentions of intrusive thoughts and parental burnout. Please take care while listening.Episode OverviewHave you ever gone from wanting to run away to feeling overwhelming love for your kids — all within five minutes? You’re not delusional. You’re devoted.In this raw and deeply relatable episode, Jane unpacks the wild emotional contradictions of raising neurodive
56. ADHD Meds & Kids. Your FAQ answered with Tommy Tran
💊 Why do ADHD meds seem like a miracle one week… and stop working the next?If you’ve ever sat there wondering if you’re failing because the meds don’t seem to work anymore — you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.In this episode, Jane tackles the most common questions ADHD mums ask about medication for kids. From appetite loss and 3PM crashes to puberty shifts and masking, we break down what’s re
55. CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playground
For ADHD mums, school pickup isn’t chit chat — it’s performance. The smiles, the nods, the weather talk. On the outside you look friendly. On the inside, you’re collapsing.In this Quick Reset, Jane unpacks why masking at the school gate feels so exhausting, how it impacts ADHD and autistic mums, and why it’s not about being unfriendly — it’s about survival.✨ What We Cover in This EpisodeWhy everyd
